Are You Still Single? Part V

Jun9

Are You Still Single? Part V is here with an unexpected twist!

Episode 1- Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride.

Part V- Wonder Woman Meets Super Ted.

Are You Still Single? Part V.

Comments/feedback and ideas always gladly welcomed

Written by Daniella Blechner

Are You Still Single? Part V

Jun9

Image Are You Still Single?  

Episode- Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride.

I slouched down on my homely, hotel bed- my only source of refuge in this pitiful hour. How could I face the world outside this room again? I stared at the four walls before pulling out my laptop and logging onto Match. A friend had signed me up a few weeks ago and after Mr- Couldn’t-Keep-It=In-His-Pants was caught with his pants down at the latest staff do with the Teaching Assistant.

“Plenty more fish in the sea!” she said.

“If we don’t find you a match on Match then the world really has gone barking mad!” she’d cried triumphantly.

I’d gwwarffed and made light but put up a profile nonetheless. Being a teacher, I wasn’t risking recognition so I put up a picture of Wonder Woman. When asked why I’d joke because you’ll be wondering why I this woman is still single! It normally went down like a dead weight followed by radio silence or a polite one word response along the lines of “I see” or “Ok then.”

But I’d managed to reel in a fish and this one was the real deal. He was witty, sharp and intelligent and I enjoyed his playful banter. He too, had a pseudo character: Super Ted.  It was an immediate connection as not only did we both have obscure character profiles but Super Ted was one of my favourite cartoons of the 80s. I always wondered why he chose Spotty Man, who looked like a banana, as a side kick. Wait..no Spotty Man discovered Super Ted didn’t he after he was rejected by the toy making factory? That’s it he arrived in a rocket and picked him up..and didn’t Mother Nature feed him a special recipe that gave him special powers? That’s right-it would be wrong to reject someone who’d saved you from the rejection bin yourself! Still, Spotty Man was certainly not the sharpest tool in the box but hey. Anyway I digress. Super Ted was online!

ST: Hi Wonder Woman.

WW: Super Ted.

ST: How’s your weekend going?

WW: Disastrous.

ST:  What happened?

WW: Let’s just say if I was Wonder Woman I’d fly right out of it!….I’ve made a tit out of myself again.

ST: Oh I know the feeling. I’m well versed in tits (being one that is!) *blush*

WW: Cheeky. I bet you any money I’m a bigger one.

ST: I hope you’ve got bigger ones. Hee hee where are you?

WW: I’m in Oxford

ST: Oxford! Me too!

WW: ??

ST: Do you know Churchley Hotel?

I grabbed my map. It was less than 5 minutes away!

WW: Yes..I’m 5mins away!!

ST: Me too! Meet me there in 5!

I was beyond excited now. Six weeks and I was finally going to meet my mystery man. Super Ted revealed. Wonder Woman and Super Ted meet at last! My heart was pounding and I felt my mouth go dry. It was happening. It was on!

I grabbed my clutch, pulled out my lipstick and puckered. In a frantic frenzy I retouched, re-plucked and reapplied all the while pulling out new appliances from my make-up bag holding my pocket mirror close to my face as I sat upright amongst coloured bottles, powders and pads strewn across my bed. It was if I, a modest natural beauty, had transformed into a make-up fiend. Wonder Woman style. Shit. I forgot to reply.

Ten minutes later I typed.

WW: See you in 5.

He winked. I fainted inside.

I walked my most graceful walk up to Churchley Hotel-shoulders back, back straight. I was the picture of grace itself. I felt like I was some kind of floating ghost (the good kind) as my hemline gently swept across the cobbled streets of Oxfordshire. Then I saw the outline of a man. My legs turned to jelly and my hemline turned against me. Instead of sweeping the streets gracefully, it started to trick me and trip me up (or was it just my now clumsy feet out of step?) It was dark and in all honestly, I was now struggling to make out what was in front of me. I could see the blurry outline of Churchley Hotel towering high above me.

An involuntary cry escaped from my mouth as I walked towards the outline.

“Super Ted!”

“Wonder Woman!”

We were like two mating birds in Summer responding to each other’s calls. How romantic.

The mysterious outline turned around and let out a cry.

“Wonder W….Vanessa!”

And there was ‘my’ Super Ted standing right in front of me. The only problem being, he wasn’t my Super Ted at all.

It was Andrew-The-Arsehole….

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CLICK HERE TO READ                                                     CLICK HERE TO READ

Part IV                                                                                                          Part VI

Are You Still Single? Part I

May30

Are You Still Single? Episode Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride Part 1 is here. CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO START YOUR JOURNEY.

Are You Still Single? Part I.

Are You Still Single? Comedy Series

May27
Miranda Hart

Miranda Hart

Are You Still Single?

Are You Still Single? centres around our lovable, if slightly eccentric, Vanessa James. It is a series of short stories that follows our heroine through some painfully awkward moments and unfortunate events that would leave the most shameless of us embarrassed! How will she fare? Read each day to find out….

Meet Vanessa James

Vanessa is an intelligent yet hapless single thirty-something woman who is hopeless when it comes to affairs of the heart and leaves in her wake a string of dire dating disasters. “Better to be single than tied down to a twat,” is her motto yet all she seems to attract is just that. Twats. Despite being unlucky in love and swimming in cynicism, Vanessa is a hopeless romantic. Bought up by her bitter Aunty Mildred, Vanessa displays what could only be described as, the patience of a saint, yet underneath her cool and calm exterior lays a bubbling volcano of unexpressed emotion.

Awkward to the end, Vanessa often wonders if she is Miranda Hart’s long lost twin. (you know- the one off the tele!)

Follow Vanessa on her journey through Mr Wrongs and dating disasters. Will she eventually find real love with Mr Right or will she remain forever single? Jump aboard and subscribe to the blog to read the first part of the episode.

Episode 1- Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride.

Click the link below to read the first part of the episode

Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride- Part I

I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas as to what you think should happen next.