Tag Archive | worthy

Extraordinary Woman- Jenice Revers

Jenice2 Jenice Revers is a lively, spirited, energetic Transformational Author, Speaker, and Coach that uses her life stories as the vehicle to inspire women globally to start their journey of self-healing, self-love and reclaim their self-worth.

Her background is in working with children and families over the past two decades.  She has served as Teacher, School Counsellor, Social Worker, and Advisor to the Family Courts in her homeland, Jamaica and in England where she resides for the past nine years.  She is also the author of Immigrant Workers to the UK: A Personal Journey to Success published in November 2013.

Jenice’s word to women in her book Damn It, I’m Worthy is ‘Life is not happening to you: Life is responding to you’.   You are not a victim of your circumstances; you are creating your own destiny with the thoughts you choose to entertain in your mind, consciously or unconsciously.

Choose to enjoy beautiful thoughts and watch your life transform!!!

www.jenicerevers.com

 

So you have a book Damn It, I’m Worthy coming out in June can you tell us what inspired you to write it?

I wrote ‘Damn It, I’m Worthy’ to help women who are where I used to be; to provide a resource to support women’s transformation so they can heal themselves from past hurts, fall madly in love with themselves and re-ignite their power and greatness or take it to the next level so as to unleash the best version of themselves.
It’s a great title. What made you come up with it?

Damn It, I’m Worthy came out of a place where I decided that ‘enough is enough’ I’m worthy and I will live my life from this truth whether situations or people externally to me agree with my value.  I later came to realise that the feeling of unworthiness was very common among women especially as we are naturally nurturers so oftentimes find ourselves in situations or relationships where we are over-giving of ourselves and our kindness is often not reciprocated.

 

Why do you think so many women stay in unhappy relationships for so long?

I believe that some women stay in unhealthy relationships beyond the expiry date due to feeling a sense of unworthiness; feeling that their worth or identity is linked to being in a relationship; for those who are mothers, sometimes think that they are staying for their children to have the benefits of growing up in a family with both parents although it is sometime evident that the relationship is causing more short-term and long-term harm to their children.

 

What advice would you give to a woman who 1) keeps on attracting Mr Wrong 2) decides to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship?

I would advise women who are in unhealthy relationships or those continuing to attract ‘Mr Wrong’ to consider taking some time to themselves where they address any past hurts that are causing them to show up in relationships with men as wounded, unworthy and unlovable.  Take this time to determine what they have been tolerating in relationships; what they really want from a relationship and reflect on the things that there is to love about themselves.  I guarantee that this journey of self-discovery is empowering and will help women to have clarity as they move forward in forming new relationships or re-establishing their current relationships.  By our own example of how we treat ourselves, we teach others how to treat us so take the journey to falling madly in love with yourself and often times our partners among others will reciprocate.

I love the quote Life isn’t happening to you: Life is responding to you’ how can we adjust our thought processes or mind-sets to receive the things we want?

We can adjust our thought processes or mind-sets to receive the things we want by identifying what are the thoughts or beliefs we are currently entertaining in our minds that are sabotaging our success in our relationships and other areas of life; then we go through a process of planting and cultivating new, positive, life-giving, joyful, grateful thoughts that will significantly transform our lives.

What can women expect from a coaching session with you?

I take women on a journey through my 12 weeks coaching or home study programmes where they focus on self-love, self-discovery, creating and setting up healthy boundaries, making integrity-based decisions, forgiving and self-compassion work; discover their ‘Inner Goddess’ to re-ignite their power and greatness so as to unleash the best version of themselves. Oftentimes, we are not aware of the self-sabotaging thoughts and beliefs that we are entertaining in our minds and are preventing our success in relationships and other areas of life.  Hence, we will need a coach who will expose these thoughts and beliefs that exist in our ‘blindspot’ and support us to create a new story/vision to the life we dream of.

Onto the publishing process. You published with Lisa Nichols’ company MTM Press can you tell us a little bit more about the event and mentoring scheme?

Well, I attended Lisa Nichols’ event called Speak&Write in May 2015 and it was awesome.  I learned about the importance of being vulnerable when sharing your story with others whether through writing or speaking.  Instead of ‘telling’ we were encouraged to ‘show’ people our stories so they can connect with us and experience the joy or the pain or other emotions we felt.  If you should read my book Damn It, I’m Worthy or attend one of my workshops or conferences you will have an opportunity to experience me ‘showing’ you my story.  I am currently being mentored by Lisa Nichols’ company in a 5 months business coaching programme and it’s big investment but what’s the heck, I deserve it and it is an investment in the quality of products and services I am offering to you and other women across the world.  I am also using Lisa Nichols’ company, MTM Press to publish my book which is a different service all together, where I am guided through a process of writing and launching a ‘bestseller’.

Having met you, you are full of energy and clear in terms of your vision. Where do you see yourself in five years’ time and what would you have liked to have achieved?

In 5 years, I will be well established in hosting my Damn It, I’m Worthy international women’s conferences in the UK and abroad.  I would have completed many more book publications and speaking on many different platforms so as to take women on their own journey from being stuck in past hurts to living a life where their inner goddess is being unleashed for them to achieve their greatness.

What advice would you give to anyone who wants to publish a book?

Start now to write your story, not giving any thought to grammar, structure, and context, just get it on paper.  There are editors who can provide you with different levels of support by structuring your content to make your dream of becoming an author a reality.  This service is usually at a cost but is well worth it for your story to be shared with the world in a coherent way.  You can also explore traditional publishing opportunities where the publisher will finance the publication and promotion of your book or you can take your destiny in your own hands and do what is called ‘self-publishing’ which is a very popular option.

What’s next for Jenice Revers?

What next is that I will be on a Book Launch Tour in London, Birmingham, Nottingham promoting Damn It, I’m Worthy throughout July 2015.  I’m booked for the Film, Art, Book EXPO on 4th July @ Platanos College, Clapham Road, London SW9 0AL (Stockwell area) and 18th July @ Stephen Lawrence Centre, 39 Brookmill Road, London SE8 4HU (Deptford area) where you will get your signed copy and experience readings from my book and intimate Q&A session for a total transformation.   I’m on the New York City leg of my Book Launch Tour from 1st-18th August 2015 in Harlem, Queen, Bronx, Brooklyn and other areas.  Lastly, but not least, I will be hosting a Damn It, I’m Worthy Women’s Conference in London on 25th November 2015 (venue to be confirmed).

Thank you!

Contact Jenice: info@jenicerevers.com or jenicerevers@yahoo.com

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Chapter 12- Start With You

Image

Please find another excerpt taken from Chapter 2 called Start With You. I hope you enjoy and that some of this may ring true.

Chapter 12:  Start with You

These are self-esteem battering and, at worst, abusive relationships and unless you want to keep experiencing the same death march each time, I strongly advise you take a deep breath, embrace a new approach and follow these steps to Mr Right. But first it starts with you and the way you perceive yourself; how you feel about yourself. If you are ready to be honest with yourself and do some soul-searching (it doesn’t have to be a long and arduous task) and embrace a new approach you are halfway there!

I have asked myself time and time again, ‘Why have I deserved this treatment again?’ and even wondered why the world was punishing me. Why were most of my friends settled down and living happy healthy relationships and lives and here am I trawling through painful relationship after painful relationship getting it wrong time and time again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t they see what a catch I was? I’m intelligent, loving, caring, independent, vivacious and positive. It took me over a decade to dissect the questions I was asking only to realise that I was asking the wrong questions. The question was not, “What was wrong with me?” but “Why am I attracting the wrong man for me?” The question was not, “Why can’t they see what a catch I am?” but “Why couldn’t I see what a good catch I was?” What was wrong with me was that I had allowed my sense of self-worth and self-esteem to be dictated and defined by the way these men had treated me. I had somehow subconsciously agreed that I had deserved it and in doing so kept on attracting the same type of man into my experience.

Now I imagine you’re reading this now protesting, “No I have a high sense of self-esteem and self-worth!” I did. Well if that is the case why do we keep attracting and staying with the same kind of unavailable men who hold us in such unsatisfying and negative situations? The answer is; it is us. It is we who are holding ourselves in this unhappy and unhealthy situation, we who have chosen this path and we who have chosen this man.  What we need to ask ourselves is, “Why have we chosen this particular man and path?” and “What are our expectations?” Do we deep down, expect these men to walk away from us, to hurt us and abandon us or do we expect this man to offer us an equal loving and stable relationship based on honesty and mutual respect? If we are expecting the latter and getting the opposite and stay what does this say about our sense of self-worth; our sense of self-esteem? Equally if we are expecting the worst and receive the worst and stay put the same question can be posed, what does this say about our sense of self-worth; our sense of self-esteem?

Belief Systems

Belief systems are deeply ingrained beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. These are created and formed at an early age and affected by experiences and events we experience. Our belief systems can be affected by the way we are treated by others or made to feel. They can also be affected by other peoples’ opinions or perceptions. For example, if a child is told by people in “authority” or “authoritative positions” over and over again that they are clumsy, thick and will never get anywhere it is most likely the child not only hear these words, they will ‘feel’ these words and associate these words with themselves. Every time they hear them they begin to believe these words apply to them. They will live out these words and most likely fulfill these false prophecies formed by someone else’s misguided opinion.  If they are told they are “unlovable” as a child and they experience a lack of love from those who are meant to love them, most likely they will find it harder to accept and believe they deserve to be loved just for being who they are. Perhaps they will try and change who they really are in order to fit in or conform hence deep in their deep belief system they believe that in order to be loved they must conform; they must not be themselves. How long can a person live this way, concealing who they really are? How can a person really truly love themselves if they cannot be themselves? Truly. How healthy is it to live your life believing that to be loved you need to live by someone else’s standards? Everyone deserves to be loved. No one is any more or less worthy. However, when we live through these kinds of experiences without being fully aware of the affects upon our own thinking or sense of self we become littered with false and dangerous belief systems that have been dictated to us by those who, quite often, already have negative belief systems about themselves.

If we as a child have been abandoned or neglected, we may as adults suffer from a deep seated fear of abandonment. We may fear that everyone we become close to will eventually leave and abandon us. We may end up catering so heavily to somebody else’s needs that we forget our own. This relationship is unhealthy and based on the belief system that you are not worthy enough to be loved. If you have not placed your needs, wants and desires high up on that ladder of importance why would or should anyone else? I am a big believer that whatever we thoughts we hold in our belief system we will attract. Like attracts like. That what we focus on the most will always transpire into our conscious lives. Have you ever been in a situation when you’ve feared the worst and when the worst happens you say, almost triumphantly, “I knew that was going to happen!” Well of course it did it’s what you believed to be true! In the past, the relationships I had attracted and the men I had chosen perfectly matched my deep rooted belief that I didn’t deserve to be loved and that I will eventually be bitterly let down. Well at least a perfect match! How could I possibly be a victim when I have simply attracted what I believed to be true?

Change your thinking and your thinking will change you!!

Chapter 2- Start With You

Please find an excerpt from Chapter 2- Start With You; an investigation into belief systems and how they effect what we attract into our lives.

Chapter 2:  Start with You

These are self-esteem battering and, at worst, abusive relationships and unless you want to keep experiencing the same death march each time I strongly advise you take a deep breath, embrace a new approach and follow these steps to Mr Right. But first it starts with you and the way you perceive yourself; how you feel about yourself. If you are ready to be honest with yourself and do some soul searching (it doesn’t have to be a long and arduous task) and embrace a new approach you are halfway there!

I have asked myself time and time again, ‘Why have I deserved this treatment again?’ and even wondered why the world was punishing me. Why were most of my friends settled down and living happy healthy relationships and lives and here am I trawling through painful relationship after painful relationship getting it wrong time and time again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t they see what a catch I was? I’m intelligent, loving, caring, independent, vivacious and positive. It took me over a decade to dissect the questions I was asking only to realise that I was asking the wrong questions. The question was not, “What was wrong with me?” but “Why am I attracting the wrong man for me?” The question was not, “Why can’t they see what a catch I am?” but “Why couldn’t I see what a good catch I was?” What was wrong with me was that I had allowed my sense of self-worth and self-esteem to be dictated and defined by the way these men had treated me. I had somehow subconsciously agreed that I had deserved it and in doing so kept on attracting the same type of man into my experience.

Now I imagine you’re reading this now protesting, “No I have a high sense of self-esteem and self-worth!”   I did. Well if that is the case why do we keep attracting and staying with the same kind of unavailable men who hold us in such unsatisfying and negative situations? The answer is; it is us. It is we who are holding ourselves in this unhappy and unhealthy situation, we who have chosen this path and we who have chosen this man.  What we need to ask ourselves is, “Why have we chosen this particular man and path?” and “What are our expectations?” Do we deep down, expect these men to walk away from us, to hurt us and abandon us or do we expect this man to offer us an equal loving and stable relationship based on honesty and mutual respect? If we are expecting the latter and getting the opposite and stay what does this say about our sense of self-worth; our sense of self-esteem? Equally if we are expecting the worst and receive the worst and stay put the same question can be posed, what does this say about our sense of self-worth; our sense of self-esteem?

Belief Systems

Belief systems are deeply ingrained beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us. These are created and formed at an early age and affected by experiences and events we experience. Our belief systems can be affected by the way we are treated by others or made to feel. They can also be affected by other peoples’ opinions or perceptions. For example, if as a child, you are told by people in “authority” or “authoritative positions” over and over again that you are clumsy, thick and will never get anywhere it is most likely the child not only hear these words, they will ‘feel’ these words and associate these words with themselves. Every time they hear them they begin to believe these words apply to them. They will live out these words and most likely fulfil these false prophecies formed by someone else’s misguided opinion.  If they are told they are “unlovable” as a child and they experience a lack of love from those who are meant to love them, most likely they will find it harder to accept and believe they deserve to be loved just for being who they are. Perhaps they will try and change who they really are in order to fit in or conform hence deep in their deep belief system they believe that in order to be loved they must conform; they must not be themselves. How long can a person live this way, concealing who they really are? How can a person really truly love themselves if they cannot be themselves? Truly. How healthy is it to live your life believing that to be loved you need to live by someone else’s standards? Everyone deserves to be loved. No one is any more or less worthy. However, when we live through these kinds of experiences without being fully aware of the affects upon our own thinking or sense of self we become littered with false and dangerous belief systems that have been dictated to us by those who, quite often, already have negative belief systems about themselves.

If we as a child have been abandoned or neglected, we may as adults suffer from a deep seated fear of abandonment. We may fear that everyone we become close to will eventually leave and abandon us. We may end up catering so heavily to someone elses’ needs that we forget our own. This relationship is unhealthy and based on the belief system that you are not worthy enough to be loved. If you have not placed your needs, wants and desires high up on that ladder of importance why would or should anyone else? I am a big believer that whatever thoughts we hold in our belief system we will attract. Like attracts like. That what we focus on the most will always transpire into our conscious lives. Have you ever been in a situation when you’ve feared the worst and when the worst happens you say, almost triumphantly, “I knew that was going to happen!”? Well of course it did it’s what you believed to be true! In the past, the relationships I had attracted and the men I had chosen perfectly matched my deep rooted belief that I didn’t deserve to be loved and that I will eventually be bitterly let down. Well at least a perfect match! How could I possibly be a victim when I have simply attracted what I believed to be true?

Change your thinking and your thinking will change you!!

Below is a really interesting link about Fear of Abandonment. An insightful read.

http://www.internet-of-the-mind.com/abandonment.html