Raising Wonderful Women

Raising young women is a huge responsibility but one that should not be restricted to purely the role of a mother or father. The word ‘raise’ dates back to c1200 and derives from an Old Norse word “reisa.” It translates as “to cause a rising of” “set upright” “to build and construct.” The word “raise”also means to “uplift, promote the growth of, and elevate to a higher position.” I strongly believe that we are all, in some shape or form, responsible for the raising of our young girls and women in our community. How do we begin to elevate our young girls into confident young women and leaders of their own path and what role do we have in helping them to rise? First, we must understand that we

all play a part in helping them to rise.

Self-esteem

We are born into this world innocent; completely accepting of all things and all people. We are in awe of the world around us and are blessed with the purity of non-judgment. We are totally loving and accepting of Self. Our self-esteem is high because we don’t judge, we just are. Sadly, we are born into a world full of pressures, a world that tells us, through media, advertising and music, how to look and how to think and how to behave. We live in a world that subconsciously tells us that it is not okay to be ourselves, to make mistakes or to be left all alone on ‘prom night.’ We live in a world that teaches us to say “yes” and seek approval of others. Adverts still group women into restrictive categories of “domestic goddess” “sex symbol” “object of desire” “mother” and “aggressive and bitchy business woman.” Homogeneous stick thin models in need of a good meal still front the magazines, young women are still objectified and sexualised in music videos, video games, films and adverts. The message shouts loud and clear “Be like this and we

will give you the stamp of approval!” Whose stamp of approval?

We need to raise our girls to understand, on a very deep level, that they are perfectly and

wonderfully made. We need to teach our young girls to celebrate their differences and that they are unique in their own way. They do not need to gyrate and whine to be liked or be popular with the opposite sex, they do not need to lather themselves in foundation and plasticated make up to be attractive and they do not need to say “yes” to every offer they get.

In a culture with widespread sexual objectification, young girls as young as 12, are beginning to identify themselves as objects of desire. This internalized sexual objectification has been linked to problems with mental health such as clinical depression,

“habitual body monitoring”, eating disorders, body shame and lack of self-worth.  Now, more than ever, we need to impress upon young girls that they are not defined by their physical appearance but by the content of their unique character. Now more than ever we need to let our young girls know it is okay to switch off the TV, disconnect from Social Media and work on loving themselves and finding out who they are.

​

Thoughts and Words

The Telegraph (Aug 2015) states that, “A new survey by Girlguiding UK shows almost half of British girls have suffered with mental health problems, with self-harm being one of the biggest concerns.” It also states that the majority of seven to ten year olds said they had felt “sad” or “down, 1 in five young girls said they were upset by the way they looked and 39% said they had received demeaning comments about their appearance. A magazine called Girl Talk also found that half the girls defined beautiful as being “fashionable” and “thin.” Furthermore shockingly enough, a study carried out by

The Children’s Society found that the young girls of Britain are significantly unhappier than children in Ethiopia and Algeria. Why when we have so much in the Western world are our young girls so unhappy?

First we must tackle the damaging thought processes caused by images and words these young girls are seeing and hearing. The Bible, The Torah, Buddhism and the Koran teach us about the Power of words. The Bible says, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12.18) The Torah says, “The mighty power of words hurt, heal and fashion reality.” Buddha said, “Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are true and kind, they change our world.” The Koran says, “Kind words (spoken) and forgiving of faults are better than sadaqa (charity)”

The pressure on young girls to be “beautiful” and “attractive” is sky high. The Media speaks to us every day telling us what is acceptable and what is not. Therefore,

the way in which we speak to ourselves is crucial, the thoughts we think and the way we speak to others. In a world that constantly bombards us with images of who we should be, it is crucial that we raise our young girls to know who they are. It is easy to allow the exterior world to dictate our inner perception of ourselves.

We must teach our young girls how to speak to themselves with love and respect. Positive self-talk is essential. We all have a role in teaching our young girls how to do this by speaking positively about ourselves, first as an example, and in turn speaking positively to and about them. Our words have the ability to harm or heal. They can be the difference between elevating a young woman or beating her down.

Lastly, teaching a young girl how to elevate another is a powerful practice. We need to teach them that we do not and are not created to exist as islands but to collaborate and support one other. We must teach them to close their ears to gossip and open their hearts to one another; that there is room for all to blossom and grow in this world and that there is strength in elevation and wisdom in understanding that, in a world where women already struggle to balance love, relationships, motherhood, working life, career, hopes and dreams, trials and tribulations, they stand much stronger as a united force uplifting the other with words and actions. We must dispel the myth that the other woman is “the enemy” but in fact a sister who too needs support, encouragement, uplifting and inspiration. We must raise our young girls to become young woman who know, in their

own uniqueness, that “a flower does not compete with the flower next to it, it simply blooms.”

When we raise our young girls to know and love themselves from the inside out, then they truly will become a united force to be reckoned with.

Mr Wrong Book Review

Honoured to receive this beautifully written book review on Mr Wrong written by my co-host Sister ShamiYah with whom co-present with on The PX Book Review Show!

Thank you Sister ShamiYah!

Title- ‘Mr Wrong: Learn From Mr Wrong and Claim Mr Right.’
Author: Daniella Blechner
Publisher: Conscious Dreams Publishing

A silhouetted couple in animated posture graced the cover of this telling testimonial and liberating handbook on one of the most powerful affairs of the heart; the power of Love.

As front cover designs go, there is nothing obscure about the message of the book. Set against a white background, the couple are complemented in red and white attire almost themed to a Valentine romance novel. You can buy this book with your eyes before spending a quid. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the body language of the couple. The woman in a little red number, stiletto heels to match leans pouting to the man with three heart bubbles rising from her. Mr debonair’ s body- language evasive, hides a heart wrapped in barbed wire hidden behind his back.
Mr Wrong, the title is red, almost rising from the cover with the O in wrong a barbed wired heart.

Combining vividly themed colours of red, Black and white, the illustrator grabs the attention of reader who may perceive a romantic novel. Once however, the cover is peeled back; the author’s unstinting personality and skilfully writing profile is what grabs the attention.

I am not a novel’s person, so this book was written for me. I am not a Valentine’s person so the cover of itself could have competed for my attention on the shelf. While the message of the book is simple…learn from ‘Mr wrong and Claim Mr Right’ the journey through the book is not that simple. Drawing from the experiences of women around the globe Daniella weaves searching testimonial into the fabric of a structured easy-to-follow text. She uses heading and sub-headings to easily sign post the reader to the contents. This is visually enriched by sketches of characters enhancing the message given succinctly.

The confrontational messages hold up a mirror to the reader as the testimonies are encounters we may have had or are having. Your judgement is suspended as the experiences and mistakes are your or those of your family and friends. Not only if you are tempted to laugh you may be laughing at yourself; but Danni’s sharp wit and sense-of –humour personality will pull your funny-bone anyway.

Consider this book your friend who tells you the truth……..even a mirror! The author’s own honesty and transparency about her journey will open up the reader to come to terms with message ringing in your ear…….” It’s not him, it’s you!” In the absence of self-knowledge and self-LOVE, you draw into your intimate space who you are subconsciously and where you are emotionally and even spiritually.

Using identification terms like, ‘Mr X Factor’, ‘Mr Loose Eye’ and ‘Mr Surfer’ tells how to spot each one. Some of her titles did make me chuckle. I was looking for ‘Mr Village Ram!’ to complete the line-up. Alas, my Caribbean taste for those characters was not to be satiated.
Replete with activities, exercises, and quizzes, Daniella has not only empowered the reader but wrote a book that can be easily read on a holiday break, in between bus stops, lunch breaks and in the psychiatrist chair…to him or her! For with this handbook the psychiatrist or psychologist should no longer be needed.

Liberating! Empowering! Transformational!

Reviewed by Yishebah Baht Gavriel 26/01/15 for PowerXtra Radio Review.
http://www.daniellablechner.com
http://www.dingdongmrwrong.com

Asking for What We Want

Top Ten Tips for Asking for What We Want

How often have we passed up the opportunity to ask for something for fear of that all resounding “NO!”?

We are living in a society where asking for what we want is somehow forthright or self-centred. I live the UK and grew up in a society where asking for things was seen as wrong. “Ask and You Won’t Get.” This notion is not a new notion but one that perfectly mirrors society’s values and collective belief. From one perspective, it can be seen as a positive thing: a child should be grateful for what they have and not seek to desire more. The idea behind it being that one should be satisfied and appreciative for what they have. However there is a fundamental difference between never desiring more and being appreciative for what we have.

Whilst I don’t agree that a child should be bought whatever they want simply because they have asked or shrieked over and over again for it, I do believe that we all have a fundamental right to ask for the things that we desire, require, need or want without fear. This notion that we should not ask for things can be quite limiting and damaging as we start to file our Needs, Wants and Desires into the “unattainable dream” shelf and harbour resentment and unfulfilled desires. When we hold in our suppressed Needs, Wants and Desires we can start to breed a Rottweiler inside. It can take the smallest thing to occur for it to snap at those we love. Don’t let the Rottweiler win!

 

“Ask and You Won’t Get” is a notion that we are taught at home, in schools and sometimes in the workplace.  How many of your Needs, Wants and Desires are shelved in the ‘miscellaneous cabinet?’ Fear stops us from progression, stops us from grasping opportunities and unlocking doors to our rightful paths. Had we only asked we may have received that, pay rise, received that promotion, received that puppy in the window we so desperately wanted and perhaps received that love we deserved. Although we may not always get what we ask for, it allows us the opportunity to achieve our goals, create our happiness and seek fulfilment.

 

Asking for what we Need, Want and Desire in a relationship is fundamental to building solid foundations. Too often we exist within relationships never asking for anything and expecting men to know what it is that we want and need. Having broken up with a long-term boyfriend and having a heart to heart almost a year later, I clearly remember saying to him, “I never asked you for anything.” His reply was simply, “Well how can you complain about not getting something you didn’t ask for in the first place?” For a moment I paused. He was right! If I asked for what I needed and wanted in the first place, I may have got just that!

 

Things To Remember For Asking For What You Want in a Relationship

 

~ Asking for what you want doesn’t make you needy. It makes you assertive and honest.

 

~Asking for what you want allows you to be honest with both your partner and more importantly yourself. If you don’t know what your needs and wants are why or how should he?

 

~Unfortunately men are not telepathic.

 

~Never apologise for your needs and wants. You are entitled to have them.

 

~Just as you are entitled to have needs and wants remember your man isn’t entitled to fulfil them.

 

~ Whilst compromise is important for a balanced relationship, don’t ever sacrifice your needs and wants completely. If you are unfulfilled you cannot be happy. It is important for your partner to value the things that are important to you.

 

~Be thankful for all the positive aspects of your relationship and voice your appreciation.

 

~Focus on what he is ‘getting right’ not on what he isn’t.

 

~Never dishonour yourself by keeping quiet about your needs, wants and desires. You are important.

 

~Don’t let that Rottweiler win!

 

Check out Daniella Blechner’s book Mr Wrong and get the Mr Wrong Work Book  full of exercises, quizzes and meditations to help you let go of Mr Wrong and Discover the Inner You!

For more information on Needs, Wants and Desires check out Daniella’s 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You workshop at www.daniellablechner.com (you can buy signed copies of her books here too)

 

The King..

He is a man who is bold; he knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it, make his intentions known. This man has a crystal clear vision about who he is and what he wants to achieve. He is not afraid of his emotions, or scared to be vulnerable.

When he looks at her, he sees her. Really sees her. He sees not with his eyes but with his heart. He feels her in his mind, his breath, his Soul. He embraces her Strength, her weaknesses and flaws and encourages her to be the best woman she can be. He recognises the woman in front of him; the heart of gold, the pureness of heart and freedom of Spirit. What she does interests him. He wants to see her happy. He loves to see her smile. He wants to protect her, look after her despite her independence.

He sees through her invisible barriers, brings out the vulnerable young girl…that playful young girl and encapsulates her in his heart, protects her with his might so, never again will she feel unsafe or insecure. He does not complete her, as she is already complete.  He simply allows her to Be. He does not patronise or demean, but recognises the small child that resides within the warrioress woman and dutifully protects her like the Guardian of her Heart.

Protective, not possessive. He likes her to have her own freedom. He loves her free spirited nature. She’s a thinker, a creator, a visionary. He supports her in her dreams and has faith in her vision.

She asked God to send her a man who falls in love with her mind. A man who seeks to enhance her light, not dim it; a man who lets the butterfly fly, not crush it; a man who smiles when she succeeds and holds her hand when she fails; a man who, through it all, is the wind beneath her sails. He sees her Inner Beauty and recognises that her outer beauty is merely a reflection of her Heart, her Soul, her Innermost Being.

He.. sees no weakness in putting his woman first, sees no shame in words like “I love you” or “you mean everything to me,” sees no embarrassment in expressing his desires to her, seeks no hiding place in which to allow his love to dwell unheard. No, this man stands boldly beside her. He is her equal and she, his. Masculine and feminine energy together entwined, beautifully complemented like ying and yang on FIRE!

He has her back, stands unashamedly shrouded in Loyalty, cloaked in Trust and in turn is entrusted with her heart; this, he holds with the greatest of care and utmost respect. Anything less from himself, he will not accept. He does not place her on a pedestal or enforce false and unrealistic expectations on her but accepts her as all that she was, is and will be to come.

Together they have a great sense of adventure, a great sense of fun. Unified, they explore together, love together and, most importantly, laugh together. Humour is the river that runs through all things. Humour creates a sense of lightness, like flying with wings. Lightness brings a free flowing energy essential to survive. Without laughter, you miss the joy and beauty underlying all things.

He may not be a hopeless romantic- a Romeo- but knows how to create a sense of romance when needed. He may not care about anniversaries or birthdays but does so because it is important to her. He may not care about the same things as she does, but shows an interest because he knows and understands her interests, her friends and her family are an extension of her.

This man can compromise, but also knows when to put his Queen in her place. Boldly and gently, he has the ability to tell her where and when she is going wrong and gently steer her in the right direction again. He knows when to speak firmly and when to whisper, when to talk and when to listen. He knows when to wipe away her tears and when to let them fall. When hard times hit, this man does not hold grudges or punish but communicates. He speaks up for his rights and acknowledges hers.

He speaks highly of those he loves, holds them in high esteem; is not afraid to hold up his Queen. He demonstrates a tenacity, a commitment to sticking things through. He sees in her a partner, not a girlfriend, a partnership, not a lover. He sees a relationship as two people steering the boat together, working towards a greater vision. Two ships passing in the night is not an option. When one falls down one helps the other up. Giving up is not an option. This man, when he says “forever”, he means forever. He knows what he wants and who he was born to be. He isn’t afraid of “competition” because he recognises True Love when he experiences it and loyalty when he sees it. He knows his own worth and value. This man, although warm and affectionate, is a …a soldier when it comes to protecting his Kingdom. An Archangel Michael protector with a heart of gold. Courageous lion with the heart of a cuddling bear. He knows when to bare his teeth and when to bear his heart.

He delivers on his promises as he knows it strengthens Trust in which solid foundations are set. He does not seek to make her jealous or destablise her; he only wants to build her up and enhance her. He knows the stronger he builds her, the stronger the union. When he looks her in the eye, he sees his children before him…the mother of his children.. and his heart cries out to love and protect her with fibre in is body, with every waking day; for in him are the makings of a loving father, one who would lie down his life for them no matter the circumstance, season or tide. He sees in his future family, a sense of achievement, legacy and pride. He is the King of his castle and he sees his woman as his Queen. Whatever they do have or do not, they work through life together as a team. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly. For this is how True Love works you see.

But how can he be all these things? I hear you ask.

For He, is a reflection of Her……

Daniella Blechner

Dating Suggestions from Angel the Competition Winner!

Here are some suggestions for interesting dates

Back in the day one of the most popular places for couples to meet was at the dance hall or disco.So how about:

a) Joining salsa,ceroc, jive,swing dance classes.Not only do you learn a new skill and enjoy great music, you can get a great workout and get fit.Also,most guys really enjoy taking the lead and twirling you around the dancefloor.
Hopefully you won’t be partnered with the hapless one taking you to the right when everyone else is going left!

b)If you’re based in London, Late Nights at the V&A (Fridays). Fantastic atmosphere relaxing outside on a balmy summer evening with a glass of wine or enjoy a delicious meal
inside ……and hey,you might even have time to wander around the exhibits accompanied by music from the main hall.

c) Hang out at South bank where you can take a boat trip down the Thames. There’s also the buzz and atmosphere of food stalls,free foyer events or concerts at Royal Festival Hall.

d) If you have an interest in theatre,many offer guided backstage
tours…..a fascinating insight into the nooks and crannies behind the curtains.
For the really adventurous who don’t mind getting hot sweaty and dishevelled,there’s always bungee jumping, kayaking, rockclimbing etc where you might meet a hunky adrenaline junkie.Me, I prefer to stay dry, groomed and preferably on dry land….c’est la vie!

Good Luck,

Angel

7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You!

7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You is a workshop led with passion from the Heart. I won’t talk too much about it, but what I will do is let the testimonials and videos below speak for themselves. Book onto the next one on Sat 11th July at The Evolve Wellness Centre 10am-1pm (2.15 w/yoga)  https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/7-steps-to-creating-the-greatest-version-of-you-tickets-17114223102Why?

You draw in Maximum happiness when we are in alignment with The Greatest Version of You! ~Daniella Blechner

CLICK this link to Book your place at: Hurry to get the Early Bird price!! 

Blog Testimonial- Maeve Crawford:

How 2 Hours on a Saturday Morning Changed My Life.

May 22, 2015Blog

I was invited to attend a recent two hour workshop in London with Daniella Blechner, author of “Mr Wrong.” I’ve attended numerous trainings, workshops, seminars, coaching programmes and retreats over the years and wondered what new information I would learn.

I was really looking forward to the event, as I had got to know Daniella through her work and love what she’s doing to help people change the way they look at dating and relationships.

Daniella provided the group with a warm and friendly welcome and encouraged us all to take a moment out of our busy lives to focus on ourselves. This was perfect timing for me for a variety of personal and professional reasons.

During the workshop we wrote about our values and practised some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) something I’d done before, but never in a group. This generated an increase in positive and loving energy, which the whole group felt!

As part of the workshop, we were invited to go through a guided forgiveness mediation. Danniella asked if I would read the meditation, as I had done at some previous events during her successful book tour. This was the moment for me when I realised how much I had been holding back with my own workshops.

We spent some time creating our vision boards and, whilst this was also something I had done before, I felt inspired about the creation process in a whole new way.

I felt a new sense of motivation and inspiration about my life purpose and tapped into a new belief about making things happen as I contemplated my intentions and what actions I was going to take to improve my life and step into my greatest version of myself.

7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You, is an event I will put in my diary and memory bank as a day that turned my life around. As soon as I returned home I took immediate action on some tasks I’d been avoiding.

I am so grateful to Daniella for the invitation and for igniting a new inspiration and determination to move forward in my life.

The next event will be in July 2015 and I encourage you to make it to this event, if you’re looking to make some changes in your life and begin to live your greatest version of you!

Video Testimonial

Adelaide MacKenzie Video Testimonial

Daniella and Francesca Explain the Workshop

7 STEPS EXPLAINED VIDEO

Book Here:

CLICK this link to Book your place at: Hurry to get the Early Bird price!! 

Want to know more email Daniella at info@daniellablechner.com

30 Day Mental Cleanse Challenge by Sophia Bailey

I have always been an advocate of the truth that we become what we think about. How we perceive ourselves and what we believe about ourselves is key to our pathway to success or failure. What we believe to be true will become our realities and what we allow will become. I am an optimist through and through when it comes to achieving happiness and success. When I was raising funds to publish my book, when I quit my job without job to go to and when I began to teach myself the process of self-publishing I took a leap of faith because, inside, I had a burning desire to succeed and see my project through to fruition. Why? Because I believed so vehemently in its message.

Sophia Bailey’s 30 Day Mental Cleanse is phenomenal. I started the Mental Cleanse 20 days ago and I’m already feeling an even bigger shift in my mindset. There are 3 rules; No negativity, no distractions, no excuses! If you can handle that , then this challenge so for you.

Each day you are given either an audio or personal task to complete. these short tasks and affirmations really do get you thinking about what sort of person you are and how your mindset is either limiting or steering your success. My mindset immediately began to shift after hearing the download of Earl Nightingale’s audiobook The Strangest Secret, followed by Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. As Earl Nightingale spoke of things unheard of in his time, and listening to Napoleon Hill’s story of enduring a three day interview with Carnegie where he finally asked to dedicate his life’s work to collating the secrets of the most successful people in the world through interviews from innovators such as Henry Ford and Tomas for free, the belief that we create our realities not only strengthened, but empowered me enough to want to share this Mental Challenge with you.

Wealth creator and personal mentor Sophia Bailey’s introduction and interludes lovingly guide you through the process with snippets of her personal experience as well as encouragement delivered as if she were your much loved friend and mentor.

I don’t endorse things lightly, so, I urge you to check out her 30 Day Mental Challenge at the ridiculous cost of £1.97

Download affirmations, audios and challenges each day and be inspired!

“Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal.” Earl Nightingale

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them“- Earl Nightingale

Sophia’s Mental Cleanse Challenge is FREE for 30 days or £1.97 for a lifetime.

To get Sophia’s Mental Cleanse Challenge click here you won’t regret it!

Mr Wrong in The Voice

I was lucky to have a stint in The Voice Paper. Here it is!

How To Find Mr Right And Say Goodbye To Mr Wrong

Author Daniella Blechner aims to empower women (and men) in new book

Written by Dionne Grant
24/01/2015 05:00 PM

LOVE LESSONS: Daniella Blechner

THEY SAY a problem shared is a problem halved, and this old adage has proved particularly lucrative for self-published author, Daniella Blechner.

Using a collection of memoirs from a number of scorned women (and some men) from around the world, Blechner put together Mr Wrong: Learn From Mr Wrong and Claim Mr Right, a self-help book with a twist.

“I don’t believe in rules, or x plus x equals this or that every woman will have the same outcome if they follow the same steps because we’re all different,” she said. “I wanted to create book, first and foremost, as a platform for women to have their voices and stories heard.”

The author, from South East London, explained: “Mr Wrong is a collection of stories written by women from all across the world who seem to keep encountering the same sort of man – men who are unavailable. You know the ones, the guy with multiple names, multiple girlfriends, past baggage, the ones who will time and time again, avoid commitment! [The book] aims to dispel myths about relationships created by society and ones we place on ourselves.”

In fact, Blechner used her own “disastrous” experience in a previous relationship to inspire the book, her first foray into publishing.

“In the past, I wouldn’t speak about the things that went wrong in my relationships, I felt ashamed and worried what friends would think. I buried it all, but I found that once I started to share my story with people, it was actually quite healing.”

After getting her head around blogging and sharing some of her experiences on the popular online platform, the 35-year-old found there was a market for people who had experienced similar pain in their quest for Mr Right.

“A lot of Americans started gravitating towards the blog and started telling their stories, so I put an appeal out asking for women to contact me and share their Mr Wrong stories and I was inundated with stories from America, Canada, UK, Australia and it just kind of happened from there.”

She noticed that from many of the submissions that “most women were entering relationships to complete something within themselves rather than going in as a whole person and loving themselves.”

“Quite often, these women came into relationships expecting the other person to fix them,” she said.

“Another one was repeating past issues. There were quite a lot of women who had an absent father, which is a whole book in itself; those who have a fear of abandonment and look to men to fix their fear, but what they don’t realise that you’ll get men who will go off and abandon you until that situation has been completely healed.”

Though Blechner is quick to point out that she is not a qualified counsellor or relationship coach (in fact, she’s an English tutor by day), she is passionate about empowering and providing support for women.

“Like I said, I just wanted to give women a platform to speak about their stories. This book is not about me telling people what to do,” she clarified.

“The first thing I want to establish is that Mr Wrong is not a how-to book. I am not a dating expert and I am not interested in telling women how to date and how to have a relationship because I believe there are an abundance of books, of which I have read.”

In that sense, Blechner says she thinks fairytales have a lot to answer for.

“There are a lot of women growing up who are indoctrinated by that stuff,” she said. “There’s a sense of ‘you are a princess, but you’re nobody until Mr Right finds you to come and sweep you off your feet and make you a complete person’.”

She then draws reference to a story shared by a male contributor in Mr Wrong whose relationship ended because his partner was hoping he had the key to her completion.

“He says it’s attractive when a woman knows her worth and that really stuck with me. I don’t think I expected that. When you know your worth, you resonate with men who are attracted to that. When you don’t, I think you can let anything in.”

It was a two-year journey getting Mr Wrong to its final destination, which came with numerous rejection letters, self-publishing hurdles and navigating a competitive industry she had no prior experience in. But, she says, it added more character to the sojourn.

“Rejection letters came in and after three or four months it started to get to me, but someone close to me said, ‘Think about [Harry Potter] author JK Rowling and how many rejection letters she had. Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do it.’ That ultimately sent me on the path of discovering the world of self-publishing. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.”

She added: “From the age of four, I would say, ‘I’m going to be a writer, but I’ll do it later in life’. [I would say], ‘I want to save the world, save dogs, save everything and then I’ll write a book.’ But I left the animals and saving the world, it’s too hard. I found my calling in writing.

The Mr Wrong Book Tour kicks off on Feb 12 at Hounslow Library and continues at Brixton Library on Feb 13 and Croydon Waterstones on Feb 14. For more details, visit: http://tinyurl.com/qbgh7af

Want a copy of Mr Wrong? Click below:

Posted on: 24/01/2015 05:00 PM

What Is Love? – Daniella Blechner Pt.1

Little Miss Lola contributed her powerful and poignant real life story Why I Never Drink Orange Squash to my book Mr Wrong. Her story is one of abuse, but also of courage, Strength of Spirit and Hope. I was honoured to contribute my thoughts on her question What Is Love? I have nothing but respect for this lady, who is boldly and bravely stepping forward and not only claiming, but owning her story inspiring and giving hope to others.
Here is my contribution for her:

Extraordinary Woman- Francesca Blechner

Yes this month’s Extraordinary Woman is my very own amazing and talented sister whose mission is to help others to grow in confidence in their own skin and spirit. Francesca Blechner Francesca is a highly passionate Holistic Fitness Coach and Yoga Teacher. She runs a mobile Personal Training business called FB Personal Training which is dedicated to improving the health and well-being of others by empowering and educating clients with the skills and tools to attain their health and fitness for life. Francesca has worked with celebrities Shola Ama, Richard Osman and Jason Manford; worked exclusively with clients in Saudi Arabia, New York and Doha and on private retreats as the Health and Fitness coach and teaching yoga. She has acquired a wealth of knowledge and has over 15 years’ experience in the fitness industry, achieving a substantial client list including Royalty, celebrities, business executives, new mums, athletes and gym members. Her specialities include Power Yoga, Restoration sessions and Sports Massage. Links to website: www.fb-personaltraining.co.uk Facebook: Fran Blechner (FB) Personal Training Twitter: @FBPERSONALTRAIN  

 

Describe yourself in three words. Passionate, ambitious, witty

 

What inspired you to get into the Health and Fitness industry?

Natural progression from doing Sports at school and Athletic Training as a teenager. I use to take friends to my Mum’s gym on a guest pass and would naturally be their teacher and guide them.

 

What is Holistic Fitness Coaching? Holistic Fitness coaching is about looking into the ‘big picture’ of a client’s health and fitness not just exercise to facilitate a client on the road to optimal health and performance

. You run a Holistic, Lifestyle Coaching Programme. Tell us a bit about that. Each client has to fill out a profile which assesses Stress, digestion, nutrition, sleep patterns and their detoxification system. All of these factors have a significant impact on an individual’s physiology. By assessing these factors, I am then able to measure the level of physiological stress on the body and thus tailor a specific training and nutrition protocol appropriate for the individual.

 

What advice would you give to women who lack self-esteem due to their body image?

No 1. Don’t compare yourself to other women or magazines, it serves no purpose each woman is unique and beautiful in their own way and it’s time to celebrate your uniqueness and own beauty.

2. Gratitude is a powerful practice, like most women I also have my body hang ups and insecurities. One day I saw a young woman come into the gym in a wheelchair, she had MS and in the last few years had pretty much lost use of her legs and was raising her young son by herself. She was petrified for her first visit to the gym but determined to do some training and gain some strength. I was so touched by her story, these days when my insecurities come in, I remind myself ‘I am so blessed and lucky to have a body that is healthy and fully functioning, to be able to move with ease and do the activities I love’ Practice gratitude daily.

How would you raise their confidence?

Some form of exercise or training certainly has positive benefits and helps raise confidence, simply when you take action to take care of yourself you feel better and thus confidence increases.  

What do you find most rewarding about the valuable work that you do?

I see people change their lives, taking care of yourself by nourishing your body with the food that it needs, reducing stress levels, exercise and resting are acts of self-love. This in itself is very powerful and has a knock on effect, I see client’s transform other aspects of their lives- work, relationships, hobbies, interests… When you feel good about yourself this impacts all aspects of your life.

You have lots of positive testimonials on your website, what is your most memorable success story?

One of my favourites is a 55 year old male came to me and said he hadn’t done anything since school and was petrified. He was very out of shape, had high blood pressure and been on medication for it for over 10 years. Our first session was very light just mobility and flexibility and I remember having to cut the session short as this was strenuous enough, 6 months later he had lost 2 and half stone and his body shape changed significantly (you can see the before and after pictures on my website www.fb-personaltraining.co.uk) Within a year the Doctor had pulled him off his medication as his blood pressure had stabilised to a normal level itself.  5 years on, this client still trains with me 3 x week, has regular blood pressure checks with his Doctor and continues to be drug free. He is 100% fitter, runs for 25 minutes now and does intense strength training with me. He tells me coming to his training sessions are one of the most important things in his life!

You will be leading a yoga session as part of the 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You workshop, can you tell us a little more about that and how women can benefit?

I find yoga a great way for grounding and finding that inner stillness especially needed when living a fast paced city lifestyle. Yoga enables you to reconnect with your body and mind and essentially clear space in the mind to allow clarity to come through. We will focus on using the breath and doing some powerful visualisation techniques to help create your visions and make them a reality. I am really excited to be doing this session.

What would you advise women who feel stuck in life and have a hard time achieving their target body weight? Make peace with where you are now and how you got there. Mindset is vital so accepting where you are now with love and giving yourself permission to take action and change for the better. A support network is vital too, tell people what you are setting out to do and make yourself accountable, make your friends/ partner/ family check up on you to keep you in check.

Lastly, what’s your favourite quote and why? 

‘If you say you can or you can’t you are right either way!’ Henry Ford What you believe is true

To find out more about Francesca Blechner or to book an appointment contact her at: www.fb-personaltraining.co.uk info@fb-personaltraining.co.uk +44 (0) 7888654617 To Book Tickets to the 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You go to Book tickets!

7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You is here

I am excited to announce the birth of my brand spanking new workshop 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You!

7 Steps to creating the Greatest Version of You is a Workshop led by the Heart with passion.

This workshop is for women who want to see a change in their lives and to be part of activating that change. This workshop is for women who want to create, evolve and be empowered; women who want to be the authors of their own destiny and explore their Inner Strength.

If this sounds like you keep reading….

7 Steps to creating the Greatest Version of You is an interactive workshop where you will:

-Identify your Needs, Wants and Desires

– Set and Voice Your Positive Intentions

– Transform Visualisations into Reality

– Experience the Power of Gratitude

-Love, Bless and Release past baggage and hurt

-Experience the Power of Forgiveness

– Create Your Own Vision Board

Through a series of group and individual exercises 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You will allow YOU, as a unique individual, to tap into your Inner Guide and start painting a positive canvass for your life. You will be given a Workbook to practise your exercises, visualisations, meditations and reflections. So this 1 day workshop really does work with continual and mindful practise!

 

Bring plenty of water and images for your vision board

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR EARLYBIRD TICKETS!

The 7 Steps workshop will be run by Daniella Blechner (author of Mr Wrong and 7 Shades of Love, teacher and Level 3 Healer)

For more info: www.daniellablechner.com

Qualified yoga teacher and celebrity Personal trainer Francesca Joy Blechner will also be running a 1hr yoga session where you will get to set your intentions through breath-work, movement, visualisation and meditations.

For more info: http://fb-personaltraining.co.uk/

Sign up and LIVE the results

For queries email: info@daniellablechner.com  

Francesca Blechner (Celebrity Personal Trainer and Yoga teacher)

 

Blechner Sisters team up!

Love

Love is beautiful thing. A thing so many of us never truly get to experience. Love is a magnificent arrangement between two people. It is a majestic piece of music that ebbs and flows constantly giving and receiving, never leaving. It is a breeze inside of you that forever blows in unison. Never dies. It is a fire that constantly burns. When two people love each other, really and truly, it is the most beautiful thing to behold. The most beautiful state of being, even angels swarm around to catch a glimpse of the action. It is a treasure to behold. Love is not tangible. It is not something we can see or touch. It is an entity and energy in itself, something that is borne to be shared amongst the human race. Even animals experience Love. Love is loyalty, sacrifice, peace and sharing. Love is what makes the world go round. For without it you would be living in a world full of hate. Cold and empty- no room for moving. Restrictions and darkness everywhere. Love is light. Love is flight. Love is limitless boundless and Alive. Love comes in many forms: romantic, parental, friendships, platonic but Real Love is Unconditional. Love is what creates a constant state of Healing on Earth.

Extraordinary Woman- Silvia Hartmann

German born researcher, systems designer and author Silvia Hartmann is the creator of The Harmony Program, Project Sanctuary, EMO Energy In Motion, The Genius Symbols and the originator of  The SUE Scale, The Aspects Model and Events Psychology.

A world renown expert on human genius and creativity, and with a lifelong mission to heal the divide between love and logic, Silvia Hartmann has created an unprecedented and entirely original body of work.

Bringing reason, sanity and logic to modern energism, Silvia Hartmann is the chair person and trainings director of The AMT, The Guild of Energists. Her techniques, models, systems are used by millions and her acclaimed training programs are conducted around the world.

Silvia Hartmann’s work with modern energism, which is not based on ancient teachings or religious beliefs, but instead acknowledges directly the truth and reality of human existence, is unprecedented, ground breaking and (r)evolutionary – but most of all, it works.

“Love without logic is insanity. And vice versa.”- Silvia Hartmann

You are an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Practitioner can you explain what this means and how people can benefit?

I was an EFT practitioner from 1998 to 2002, and in that time, I worked with thousands of people – in the street, at exhibitions, on radio and TV shows, in seminars and trainings, all the time. I was fascinated by the responses of people, and I wanted to know exactly how EFT works.

This led me to create EMO – Energy in Motion – in 2002. EMO is a pure energy healing modality that works with the sensations of emotions and psychosomatic pain, and this gave us the missing answers.

EFT works by acting on the energy system, and it is directed by focusing the conscious mind on areas of problems.

The work with EMO also led us to discovering the effects of energy body stress, the SUE Scale, how the Healing Events in EFT work, how events influence the energy body and create beliefs, values and attitudes there, and many other things besides.

In 2011, I re-wrote the official practitioner trainings on EFT for The AMT to incorporate the new findings and now, Energy EFT is unrivalled as a method to help people change, not just fast, but also reliably and logically.

It’s an amazing thing to consider that in all the time that went before, the ancient systems never dealt with emotions at all, and emotions are the most important thing in the lives of humans. They create everything, from art to war, and create human experience from the cradle to the grave.

We finally have a working definition of what emotions actually are – they are feedback from the energy body to let you know how it’s doing.

We finally have a variety of techniques to “control emotions” – for the first time in the history of humanity. As an aside, I do believe that is so because the primary researchers were female, and as such, they knew of the importance of emotions and to find out what’s going on, rather than just trying to make them go away!

EFT, and especially Positive EFT, is an excellent first step into solving the problems in your own life, and taking control of emotions. Particularly Positive EFT is wonderfully effective, uplifting, so simple to use that a 3 year old child can learn it, and simply a brilliant introduction to modern energy work.

What is the difference between EFT and EMO?

In EFT, we follow a simple protocol that works by tapping on major meridian points. EMO works by asking a person where they feel a problem in their body, for example, if someone is very stressed, they might feel this primarily in their stomach churning. In EMO, we don’t have to talk about it or ask who, why or what; we simply direct the healing at that exact place where it hurts, where the disturbance is located, and restore the energy flow there directly.

You could say that EFT is the bridge between old fashioned counselling and psychotherapy style talking about the problem, and EMO, which is pure energy body healing without the talk.

Not having to talk about the problem can have significant advantages for certain types of problems, for example rape victims and child abuse survivors, but also victims of post-traumatic stress and children are often far more comfortable with the direct healing of what hurts right now.

 

Mr Wrong examines belief systems, in your view where do they come from and how can EFT help eliminate or reduce limiting belief systems or negative core beliefs?

Beliefs come into being as the result of an event that causes a change in the energy body.

For example, a person might be perfectly happy relating to men, and then a single event happens that acts like a lightning strike in the energy system, and causes a major injury in a particular location.

When you ask people about these events, they always know exactly when it happened, when this lightning strike of high emotion went through their body, and the world was never the same again.

Beliefs are the conscious comments; we call them meta-comments, after the fact.

So, for example, someone might have found out that their partner cheated on them. That moment of revelation is a full body experience, that lightning strike, and it changes all the beliefs in heartbeat.

The person goes from, “Men are great fun and I love them!” to “Men are monsters!” in a heartbeat.

It’s the result of that lightning strike, which caused an injury in the energy system. When you finally heal that injury, the beliefs change. The meta-comments change. They don’t change back to how they were, but “men are monsters” won’t be there. The person might come away with “Men are human beings …” and that is far more reality based.

This happens reliably and time and time again, with all sorts of people from all walks of life, all religions, all educational levels. It’s structural and that’s why I know we are right about these injuries in the energy body that can’t be healed by talking – they need ENERGY HEALING to put them right.

So to sum this up – beliefs are created by events in the energy system. When you heal the energy system of its injuries, beliefs change as a direct result of this healing. Which is really awesome, when you think about it!

Is it important to know what our limited beliefs are or return to the “point of trauma” or is EFT simply about releasing?

You can do both, and that’s a really neat thing about modern energy work. We use a system called “The Aspects Model” whereby we say that you, here and now, are not the same person that you were when you were three years old. It thereby makes no sense at all to say, “I have just wet my pants.” That’s not you, that was the three year old aspect, and we need to learn to think that way, and talk that way.

So we say, “The three year old aspect wet her pants.” Now we can send her love and healing across time and space, and when we do, it feels wonderful. We can treat all manner of aspects who are in need of rescue still, in need of love, healing and support, and that’s a wonderful thing.

But we also have the option to simply work with how YOU feel, right here and now, and change that instead.

So if you have a fear of public speaking because of that incident with the three year old who wet her pants at show and tell in kindergarten, and you’re standing at the stage entrance, and you’re about to go on to speak, and you are feeling nauseous here and now, we can simply treat that and it will work just as well.

With EFT and all modern energy work, we have a wonderful rainbow of techniques so that people can choose what they want to do, what feels most right and best to each individual person.

To me, that’s super important; I’m a child abuse survivor and to go with what I need, rather than what dogma dictates I should be feeling or doing, was and still is of utmost importance in all my work.

When we pay attention to how we are feeling, and react accordingly, we experience personal healing that is right, no matter who we are on our respective journeys.

What is the difference between EFT and Positive EFT?

There are essentially two versions of EFT – Classic EFT, the old version that is still used by many who learned EFT back in the day, and Energy EFT.

Classic EFT, even though it consists of tapping on MERIDIAN points, came from a psychotherapy background and didn’t really understand that we were working with the energy body.

Indeed, in Classic EFT the question how it works is never answered; it’s just said that you can tap your negative emotions away and that’s that.

Energy EFT on the other hand, works with the energy body and I learned that the cure for negative emotions is actually positive emotions – strong, powerful positive energies which heal and nourish the energy body.

In Classic EFT, a scale to measure emotions was used, called the SUE scale which went from -10 (totally freaked out) to 0 – no emotions at all.

This was inherited from the medical pain measurement scale. When there’s no pain, the treatment stops and you’re done.

What we learned was that when you are dealing with emotions, having no emotions at all, zero emotions, is not the answer at all!

You need to go up into the positive ranges, when people start to come to life and experience POSITIVE emotions, in order to say that an emotional problem has been healed.

Classic EFT stopped too soon and sent people home before the treatment was actually finished – at that zero point of nothing.

Even so, going from major emotional pain to nothing was a revelation at that time; nobody had ever experienced anything like it.

In Energy EFT, we work with the SUE Scale instead, which goes from -10 via 0 to +10.

That is far more effective and it makes the treatments complete.

But most people do not need psychotherapy at all, where you start with major trauma and slowly work your way up the SUE scale.

For everyday life, and our own various challenges, all we need is really, just some more energy so we feel happier, stronger, and life becomes easier.

So I designed Positive EFT for everyday use, as an introduction to how EFT works, as a simple self-help technique that doesn’t require you to psycho-analyse yourself at all, for use with children and normal, everyday people to have a powerful antidote to emotional stress.

Positive EFT is also useful to introduce people to the positive wing of the SUE scale, and the basic principle that when you feed your energy body with positive energy, it becomes stronger – and you become happier in mind, body and spirit.

You have a new book, Love EFT: Tapping Positive EFT for Dating, Romance, Love and Relationships, out which is incredibly exciting, how can women, and men, benefit from the practises within the book?

There are two worlds – one is the world without factoring in energy, like our own energy bodies and the energy exchanges that happen between people in a couple bubble, or a group bubble. Here, nothing makes sense and everything seems difficult, incomprehensible and out of control.

And then, there is the other world. Here, energy is real, and we factor in what happens energetically between people. Now, all of a sudden, everything makes sense.

Why people who are low on energy get stressed, and start to behave badly. Why we can be saints one minute, and sinners the next. It all depends on the levels of energy in your energy body, and we never knew this.

There are so many things that make perfect sense when you factor in the energy levels.

How a person can literally die of a broken heart – yes, people really have a heart of energy, and it really does get injured, and when it does, the entire energy system is affected and doesn’t work properly any longer.

I saw a lady the other day who was stiff, cold and as frozen. She had been like that since her husband left her, and her heart (of energy!) was broken. She had all sorts of therapy but the simple idea of healing that broken heart had never been addressed, not once, in 15 years!

In Energy EFT, we start and end the rounds with the Heart Healing position. This lady did a little EFT and I told her about her own healing hands and how to put them on her heart of energy with a healing intention, and not five minutes later, she started to melt a little. Colour came back into her face, she could breathe more deeply and her stiff body started to unlock.

Love is all about energy! It is ONLY about energy, so how on Earth could we ever start to heal love problems, or evolve as lovers (!!!), without understanding energy?

It’s a mystery to me …

Seriously though, love problems are energy problems, and we have awesome techniques to finally start healing the energy body and evolving it, helping it grow strong and shiny.

Oh – and that of course, is the X-Factor! Your energy body! That which people can’t see but they can sense it and it’s super-attractive.

I await the day when folk spend as much time and attention on getting a shiny, love-attracting energy body as they do on their teeth, their clothes, their weight loss obsessions and plastic surgery!!!!

Can these be practised at home?

Absolutely! That’s what all the modern energy techniques are for primarily – for one person at a time to learn about their energy system, how it affects their emotions, and to take charge of the whole thing.

And let’s remember – the point of “controlling your emotions” is not to feel nothing, to end up at zero. That’s not life. Feeling amazing, feeling good, and being the person you were designed to be, shining brightly, that’s what modern energy work is all about.

I recommend Positive EFT because you simply can’t go wrong with it. All positive energy is good for the energy body, and a round of Positive EFT gives you a better energy boost than drinking coffee or downing a can of RedBull!

And if you are particularly interested in the power of love, understand the importance of that, feel it in your heart that only love can heal all love problems, then “Love EFT” is for you.

What do you enjoy most about the valuable work you do?

Helping people out of confusion and helping them make sense of their lives. That moment when a person sees the energy body stress chart for the first time, and they realise that they’re not insane, not genetically or karmically doomed, but that they’ve just been under tremendous stress for such a long time – it’s a major triumph, a major victory, each and every time that happens.

To bring logic and love together, to help people discover the logic of love and the reality of energy which makes the world into a truly magical place, that’s my mission and my delight.

When I was young, the world of people made absolutely no sense to me, and for the longest time I thought there had to be something majorly wrong with me.

Now, I know that everybody thinks that – but we were all wrong. There’s nothing wrong with us – apart from having grown up and tried to live with half of reality missing!

Emotions are super important. They are a part of our 6th sense that all humans are born with, but particularly men are trained to ignore – the body sensations that have no physical origin, the body sensations that tell us about the functioning of our own energy system, and that of others.

It may be that the teachers of the world were exclusively male for the past ten thousand years that there has been no significant research into emotions at all, but I am female and I know my emotions. I’ve made it my business to understand them, I’ve spent my entire life doing that, and after 45 years, I am delighted that I have found answers that are practical and make a difference in people’s lives.

I am proud to be an energist – someone who knows that energy is absolutely real, and wants to find out more what energy can do for us individually, for our relationships, for our loved ones, and in the end, for all of humanity.

Where can we buy a copy of your book?

Love EFT is available from all good bookshops, online and off, from February 14th, 2015 and publisher direct as ebook or hardcopy via http://www.DragonRising.com

What next for Silvia Hartmann?

I am an explorer by nature and my first love is research. There is so much we are yet to learn about especially the energy of relationships!

Old energy methods focused on drawing maps of an idealised individual, like the perfect (male!) vegetarian monk from 10,000 years ago.

Modern energy work is about learning how an individual works, but very importantly, about the energetic relationships that exists between all the aspects of a single person, a person and their partner, their families, their social groups.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been working with the structure of groups, and how learning, teaching and teamwork transforms when you take energy into consideration.

This is an ongoing exploration; and then of course, there is my personal favourite, which is the energy mind – previously known as the subconscious or unconscious mind. We now simply say that it is the head of the energy body, and when you improve the flow of energy between the energy mind and the conscious mind, visionary genius becomes a practical reality.

My mission is and has always been to make sense of what it means to be a human being – and true creativity, genius by any other name, is a part of that. It’s a part of our birth right.

Humans have so much untapped potential, and people just didn’t understand how to get there. How to get past their emotional blockages. How to get past their past! By focusing on the energy body, we literally open up unimaginable potential for personal development, further scientific investigation – and having fun, for that is a positive emotional state! – along the way.

Energy is real.

You can feel it’s real.

Now let’s do something amazing with it! 🙂

 

For more info on the Superwoman that is Silvia Hartmann visit:

Website: SilviaHartmann.com

Join The AMT: www.TheAMT.com

Facebook: facebook.com/theofficialsilviapage

Twitter: twitter.com/starfields/

Mr Wrong Book Tour is Here!

The Mr Wrong Book Tour is here!

Come and join host Lillian Ogbogoh and author Danni Blechner in a lively debate on Love and Relationships and listen to real life relationship stories from men and women.

“I wrote this book not to preach, teach or tell women how to “date” but to unite us through our stories, inspire us to let go of baggage and empower us by breaking free from negative belief systems and discovering our True Selves.”- a note from the author

This is event is in support of Women’s Aid providing safety for women and children survivors of domestic abuse.

**Click on your chosen link to confirm your attendance.**

You MUST select the event you wish to attend and REGISTER at Eventbrite.

12th Feb, 6pm-7.30pm HOUNSLOW LIBRARY
http://tinyurl.com/qbgh7af

13TH Feb 7pm-9pm BRIXTON LIBRARY £3 (FREE glass of wine on entry. DJ James Wilkins spinning tunes.
http://tinyurl.com/pmerjah

14th Feb 12pm- 2pm WATERSTONES CROYDON
http://tinyurl.com/khw4bf3 

More on Mr Wrong..

Do you ever feel that you will never meet the right man? Do your relationships suddenly come to an end leaving you in a wake of dust wondering what just happened or what you could have possibly done to deserve such a swift exit? Do you attract the same type of man repeating the same negative patterns and situations that leave you  thinking, “Here We Go Again?” or “I’ve been here before?” Are you dating men who love you and leave you leaving you emotionally wounded and insecure, wondering why you didn’t cut the mustard? Well, ladies, I have news for you. You do! You are simply dating the wrong man.

My name is Daniella Blechner and I am the author of a book called Mr Wrongwritten after a decade of bad luck with the opposite sex. I no longer make a secret of it and claim it to empower others. Faced with a string of dating disasters, I had no choice but to look within. On my quest to find out what Love really is, I realised that our inner world reflects our outer world and we must Love ourselves before we can truly Love another. I went on a quest to interview women and men around the world and documented their relationship stories.

Mr Wrong is a collection of both humorous and poignant stories written by women who have encountered and overcome the infamous ‘Mr Wrong,’ stories that celebrate men who are getting it right as well as stories from men themselves. From Ex-Mr Wrongs to Men struggling to survive in their “Knight in Shining Armour role” the book reveals men’s innermost secrets, thoughts and feelings on relationships and women. What role do women play in creating so called Mr Wrongs? Mr Wrong allows the reader to question, examine and challenge negative belief systems that block us from having successful relationships with others as well as ourselves. Through interactive exercises, meditations and questionnaires this book is designed to allow the reader to embark on a journey of self-discovery.

Extraordinary Woman- Featuring Ava Brown

Ava Brown

Ava –Gaye Sandra- Lee Brown MBA, BBA, Dip. Ed.

Ava Brown is the author of the book “Bamboo & Fern” her recently published biography. She is a woman of many talents and is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach and Global Business Development Manager. She received her 2nd MBA from The University of Wales and her 1st from Newport University California. Ava also has a Bachelor in Business Administration and a Diploma in Secondary Education from the University of the West Indies Mona, Jamaica.

Over the years Ava has worked in a wide variety of professional capacities namely: education, finance, maritime, telecoms and business development before deciding to embark on her own business. She currently works as a coach, mentor, and motivational speaker as well as helping businesses develop and grow. In addition to her multiple work activities, Ava is a regular contributor to the education magazine Be Magazine published in West Africa and The Children Hope Newspaper on topics such as “Hope for this Generation“, “Location and Education” to name a few. She is actively involved in assisting African students in accessing tertiary education in the UK, via distance learning. She is now in the process of collaborating with friends to publish the anticipated recipe book with her favourite treats.

Reading and writing and of course music given her strong Jamaican background. Ava is an extremely motivated and driven individual who now resides in London with her daughter Chardonae Elizabeth and son Mikhel Kai.
She lives by the motto that “sometimes life will throw you down however; you must find the will power to pull yourself up above your circumstances.” She believes that everything is about correct timing and tapping into the Universe for that which you need. Opportunities will knock, but we have to be able to recognize them and take full advantage.
Bamboo and Fern documents Ava’s life growing up in Jamaica. From mango seller to gaining an MBA, Ava Brown turned her life around, overcame adversity and poverty. Her story starts in a poor rural area, where the need to find food often won out over school attendance and follows her journey through her adolescent years, which were encased in the dark shadows of incest and sexual abuse, to her young adult years when the event of being held at gunpoint finally led her to flee her home country in order to save her sanity. Yet, her resilience and love for her native country allowed her to see all of her harsh and disappointing experiences as stepping stones to becoming a strong and self-reliant woman, one who is capable of helping our society to break the cycle of poverty and its effects.

Bamboo and Fern can be purchased through WHSMITH and Amazon or better still, you can get a SIGNED COPY via her website.

She can be contacted at info@avabrown.org or www.avabrown.org

You are such a motivated and determined woman. What keeps you motivated?

I am motivated by not wanting my kids to have the life and legacy I was left with as a child and even as an adult. Seeing people overcome obstacles and pick themselves up spur me on and gives me great joy.

As a coach, what would you advise women who are stuck in a rut with the men they choose or the relationships they are in?

As someone who knows how this feels I would say if it isn’t working don’t keep trying to make it work; life is far too precious and valuable to be wasted. Love is meant to be something blissful for the most part. If he causes you hassle, get out. I have recently coached women as to how to get out of a rut in my latest webinar Get Out of the Rut, which provides some simple proven set of strategies that can change your life and break the overwhelming feeling of non-progress- uselessness and non-achievement in your life. You can download the CD here for free at Get Out of The Rut.

 

Why do you think some women continually choose Mr Wrong?

I think its loneliness, societal pressure that at a certain age you must be hitched, financial reasons e.g. expensive cities like London and low self-esteem. These in my view are some of the reasons- though not exhausted as I am sure there are many other reasons for choosing Mr Wrong. I am hoping to have Mr Wright (Right) find me one day soon.

Your book Bamboo and Fern is incredibly inspirational, what inspired you to write it?

I didn’t set out to write a book at all. I grew up in Jamaica where kids were seen and not heard and I had so much I wanted to say. I was a chatterbox essentially, yet, I would not dare utter some of it, so I started keeping a diary and as I got older it almost sort of became my best friend, it didn’t share my secrets, thoughts or feelings with anyone. It was safe.

By the time I found myself pregnant with my daughter the diary was used more and had now become a permanent part of my life. In 2002 when I moved to the UK and with some amount of trauma, I wanted to share some of my experiences. I felt I had something to say, it wasn’t now just about a cathartic outlet anymore. I felt many other women could resonate with aspects of my story and so I took my diary more seriously. That’s how I ended up with the book Bamboo & Fern out of my life experiences really.

Without giving too much away in the book, what is the most challenging obstacle you’ve had to overcome and how did you overcome it?

My most challenging obstacle was perhaps dealing with being held up at gunpoint in Jamaica. I migrated essentially as a coping mechanism and the sought help in the UK in the form of therapy, calling the gunman and having that dreaded conversation.
What do you feel are your biggest achievements?

Since the launch of my book, I have had a few, from being featured on Jamaicans most watched and prestigious TV show Profile to being featured in the Financial Times however, I have three great achievements that truly mean the world to me namely: being a mom, graduating with an MBA (considering my background), but also finishing my book and actually seeing it in people’s hands, on the shelves and thankfully the reviews; it’s priceless. From the list, being mom and my book are my proudest achievements. My kids mean everything to me. They are the reason I work so hard. I want them to have a better life than I had.

What’s in your handbag?

I carry large handbags always, except on the occasions when I need an evening bag. As a mother there is always, wipes, my diary, my tablet, my book of course, sunshades, business cards and pencil case. There will be mints and my purse always has a cheque I have written to myself for £600,000 that I hope to cash in one day soon.  Something I’ve practiced ever since I read The Secret.
What would you advise other budding authors just starting out who say they’ll “like to write a book but…?”

Start writing, get your ideas on paper regardless of how silly you may think it sounds, there is a story in all of us and you are the best person to tell it. There is an audience waiting to hear from you, but if it’s not written how will they hear your voice and understand your message?

If you could go back and give your five year old self a pep talk or give her some advice what would you say?

Don’t be deflated if no one believes in your dream, the only supporter you need is you and don’t be afraid of criticism and rejection, just keep going and the right links will be made at the correct time to believe, support and elevate you.
Finally, what’s next for Ava Brown and her projects?

Gosh there is so much from Part 2 of my bio Indomitable which is out in Q3 2015, to my Coaching & Mentoring Programmes, Motivational Speaking and Collaborative work with other great people in my field. I also have plans to get partners in on my dream to open a Safe home in Jamaica for kids who suffered abuse like I did , but had no place to run to.

You can contact Ava at: www.avabrown.org

Twitter: @avabrown24

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Extraordinary Woman- featuring Amanda Epe

Amanda Epe

Amanda Epe, author of Fly Girl

Amanda is the author of travel memoir A Fly Girl that was flying in the Best Seller list since its release date in November. As a writer, she has also contributed to several anthologies and press reports. Amanda is a blogger and lead for Ms Rose Blossom, a project that encourages girls and women in promoting health/well-being and literature. She is also employed as a Health Trainer in the NHS.

Amanda is also a much valued contributor and author of her story I’m Guilty on Three Counts in Mr Wrong and has contributed her poems How Do I Love Thee? and How Do I Love Thee Like a Rose? in poetry anthology 7 Shades of Love where she talks eloquently on Self Love and valuing herself as a woman. This too, is evident in her contributions such as Brighter Days for African Beauty in Nicole Moore’s anthologies Brown Eyes and Hair Power-Skin Revolution focusing on identity and race.

Amanda’s Fly Girl, is a witty, adventurous and candid account of her experiences as an air stewardess. From rising above racism, to breaking the mould, to witnessing the stark contrasts of wealth, poverty, racism and acceptance, she takes us on an unforgettable journey.

A Fly Girl, Amanda Epe

A Fly Girl can be purchased via Amazon  and Waterstones

For a SIGNED copy contact Amanda at:  mail@msroseblossom.org

Website: www.msroseblossom.org

How does your work with Ms Rose Blossom impact young women?

Ms Rose Blossom’s work is duo-dimensional. The work impacts the lives of young women from being influential in building self-esteem to talking about sexual health taboo topics; all via creative communications in creative writing and workshops and speaking at events.

What inspired you to set up Ms Rose Blossom?

A number of life experiences have contributed to the innovation of Ms Rose Blossom. Firstly, my service in schools and colleges when I was employed to mentor and teach students with Special Needs as well as ‘mainstream’ pupils, then my work in programme development for economic empowerment of marginalised women. I realised that there are a group of women that were marginalised and needed to be targeted and coached and given extra support in areas such as self-esteem, self-image and sexual health

 

FGM practices are still going on and many young girls are being taken abroad to have this procedure done. Can you explain what FGM is and what is being done to educate these girls and their families about their rights/this harmful practise?

FGM stands for Female Genital Mutilation involving the cutting of the clitoris and other genital parts. This is practised on both babies and young women for non medical purposes and mainly to chastise women. There are a number of charities and individuals working as activists, educators and psychotherapists who work with affected communities and also inform the general public for safeguarding purposes, such organisations include 28 Too Many, Integrate Bristol, Daughters of Eve, and key speakers like Alimatu Dimonekene and Hilary Burrage who have fought for years to safeguard girls in education authorities. Ms Rose Blossom contributes to FGM awareness by talking to individuals from affected communities, being a point of call and signposting through the blog and also speaking at community events.

Having been a contributor in Mr Wrong what would you advise women who constantly attracted and accepted men who were emotionally unavailable?

Women need to step back and take a look at their relationship as if an outsider is viewing them. When we keep repeating the same mistake obviously we are not learning and then we start blaming. If I were to advise, I can draw from my own experiences and study my self-worth to see where I am guilty in failed relationships.

What inspired you to write and contribute the story Guilty on 3 Counts?

It was the first time I had written and shared anything on the nature of love and relationships. I was inspired to write on this topic because it would also be a learning curve for me. As a memoirist I have learnt a lot from reflective writing, and it was quite essential to share as other woman may relate and learn from my story too.

Did you learn anything about yourself during the Mr Wrong process?

It was when I wrote that story that I understood a lot of my psychological traits and looked at my patterns. I gained further insight when the book was published and I was in the category of emotionally unavailable and looking deeper, I found that quite accurate and a hard hitting wake up call.

You have recently published your own book called Fly Girl which is very exciting; can you tell us what inspired you to write the book?

The love of writing and creativity was the initial inspiration to join the travel industry. Whilst the inspiration for the book came from a number of factors, I became confident in sharing my writing as a contributor to Nicole Moore’s Shangwe anthologies, Brown Eyes and Hair Power- Skin Revolution. Later, I was inspired by other writer’s progress including Daniella’s Mr Wrong book, and as a reader and writer of true stories I knew that it was time to write mine.

What was your biggest challenge as an air stewardess?

I learnt a lot from my writing my book. At the time my biggest challenge would have been being different, but now I am clear that being different is a grand thing; standing out or not fitting in is unique. So my biggest challenge was my mindset. With a positive mind all challenges are minimised.

What was your most memorable event?

After writing the book, I am now grateful for many magic moments in my memory; to be safe after the fear of being lost in LA, and fun in the USA, but most memorable was being part of a national rescue squad. In 1998 I was part of a cabin crew rescue squad rescuing civilians who were affected by the riots in Jakarta. For more info buy A Fly Girl!

What’s next for Amanda Epe?

I am pleased to be invited by UN Women to start the New Year speaking at an Inspirational Women event at The House of Parliament. In 2015, I share my story with 29 awesome co-authors in a forthcoming book called Born for This where we share our journeys of failure to success in the areas of life, love and business. I will also be playing a key part in The Mr Wrong Book Tour where I will be sharing my story, performing my poems and speaking about personal love and relationships in libraries and Waterstones across London from 12-14^th February. I encourage readers to go after their dreams in this self help writing. I intend to continue with inspirational stories for women and the growth of Blossom Books.

How can we keep up to date with you?

I can be reached on social media through Google+, Twitter and Facebook

7 Shades of Love is here!

I am proud to say that my poetry anthology 7 Shades of Love is officially here.

As a Spiritual Woman who believes in the Power of Positive Affirmation and Meditation, 7 Shades of Love was borne as an exploration of what exactly Love means. What is it to Love someone purely, unconditionally without demand or selfishness or a desire to change? What is it to truly accept someone for who they Are and Love them regardless of imperfection? How can we achieve this type of Love in a physical world where much of our happiness is dependent on expectation and need? Is it even possible??

It was then I realised that Love truly is a discovery of Self. The more we Love and Accept and Value Ourselves without Judgement or a desire to change, to accept just as we are, the more we can Love and Accept others- not just as “others” but of reflections of ourselves. A Unified Body. A Unified Self. As 14 year old Nikesh, when asked impromptu (in an English Romeo and Juliet lesson I was teaching at the time) what Love was he answered back unfazed and without hesitation, “Loving an Imperfect person perfectly.”  It was then that I realised that Love far transcends the concept of loving another because… or loving another when… but what it really meant was that Love means loving and valuing OURSELVES as imperfect people, recognising our value and worth and so seeing this in others. To see ourselves as wondrous beings that have been perfectly made flaws and all. For how can we expect others to Love us without this Love and Acceptance from and of Ourselves?

We spend so much time judging others when we forget to look within. We spend so much time expecting others to fulfill our needs and looking for a God that exists outside of ourselves when everything we truly need resides inside us all along. It was then I realised that my journey or quest to discover what True Love was, was it is something that could not be measured, qualified or even summarised in words but was something that had to be felt and experienced. There are many different types of Love ranging from parental love, to spousal love, to codependent love, passionate love, sexual love, addictive love, unhealthy love and 7 Shades of Love, through an eclectic mix of poets from all across the world, have written about it all.

7 Shades of Love explores these types of Love, along with unconditional True Love through colour and their associated Western and Eastern meanings. Alongside these poems are Positive Affirmations to help us rooted, balanced and in remembrance of what Love truly is in this complicated world.

Thank you to every single poet who made the publication of this book possible. I have loved putting this together and have learnt so much. 7 Shades of Love is available via my website (you can buy a SIGNED copy) at www.daniellablechner.com and Amazon

Blurb

Author Daniella Blechner takes a unique approach to the ways in which various people, all poets, have dealt with love. Psychologists classify love as an emotion, others deem it the highest of all universal frequencies. In a somewhat surprising correlation between the vital chakras of the human body and the ways in which we connect to and separate ourselves from love, Blechner illuminates how our energetic frequencies can influence our approach to love by a simple shift in balance. She’s combined this with modern psychology and added the artistic writings of people from around the world in haiku, rhyme, and free verse. 7 Shades of Love is a comforting read that will help you connect to the people in your world through a better understanding of yourself, letting you attract the relationships you want and assuring you that you’re grounded in the universe.

Check out contributor poet Nicole Moore’s Review here

Mr Wrong Book Launch Photos c/o David Kwah Mensah photography

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extraordinary Women- Maeve Crawford

Maeve Crawford is a Relationship Healer and Educator.   She walks her talk, digs deep to find the buried treasure within everyone she connects with and believes in love so passionately she has dedicated her life to being a stand for love.

After many failed relationships, including divorce, single-parenthood, disappointments in life, various tragedies and emotional traumas, Maeve dug deep to find out the answers to many of life’s most puzzling questions and challenges.  She spent many years on a spiritual quest to discover the truth about life, love and relationships.  Along the way, she discovered her personal truth about what life means and what she wanted most of all.  To love and be loved.

This soul search attracted her to relationship educators, spiritual teachers, shamanic guides and Universal Laws.  Her awareness of her soul wisdom and connection to her higher self, which guides and protects, significantly enhanced her understanding of love and relationship.  But nothing could teach her more about love than love itself.

Her journey eventually connected her to her twin flame, Alex.  They enjoy a “Love Like No Other,” a love that transcends time and space, that requires authenticity, raw honesty, inner strength, trust, compassion, wisdom and a deep soul connection of courage and unconditional love.  Their remarkable relationship inspires others who meet them.

Maeve is on a mission to share this experience, knowledge and wisdom with as many people as possible during one-to-one and group conversations, because she believes everyone deserves to experience A Love Like No Other..  Click this link for Testimonials.

Through her Love Like No Other course and free 30 min Soul mate Discovery session, she passionately shares her discoveries about love and empowers those she works with to also experience a love like no other.  She has learned how to love herself and invites you to do the same as part of your soul mate / twin flame adventure.

Her clients:

• Experience a deeper connection with themselves
• Declare what they truly want for their lives
• Discover how to value and appreciate themselves
• Learn they deserve to have the love they desire
• Become empowered to make better choices for their love lives.

To book your free 30 minutes Soul mate Discovery session click here: http://maevecrawford.com

 

What brought you into this line of work and what are your key strengths?

After the end of an abusive relationship, I spent time working with a relationship coach who taught me loads about dating I didn’t previously know.  I shared what I learned with friends, who began using this information and made incredible progress in their lives.

My curiosity grew and I wanted to find out more and be able to help more people.  So I trained as a dating and relationship coach for singles.  My training took me to California where I learned from various organisations and world renowned relationship experts. It was a massive turning point in my life and ignited the fire for helping people with their dating and relationship challenges.

I am committed to providing as many people as possible with the information and education to learn how to improve their relationship and dating skills, develop a greater understanding and awareness of who they are as individuals, and choose well in love.

Many women I’ve worked with have told me I am an excellent listener; I listen without judgment and create a safe space for people to share openly with me.  I step in at appropriate times to share relevant information and lovingly guide my clients to discover what their truths are for themselves.  I believe that because I have learned the hard way and am now enjoying a loving committed spiritual relationship with someone who truly loves me and shares similar values, I am able to empathise and connect with people in ways I wouldn’t if I hadn’t gone through it myself.  I inspire others to believe it can happen for them too.

I saw on another website you have some serious credentials and experience working with both individuals and families. Can you tell us more.

During my 20 years working in Education, I trained as a parent coach and delivered programmes to help parents develop skills they didn’t recognise in themselves.  Most of my time working in schools was dedicated to supporting students with special educational needs, this was an incredible experience and I learned a great deal from the young people I worked with. I’ve delivered workshops for young people to share information and tools about developing healthy relationships that aren’t being taught in schools.

The individuals I’ve worked with have attracted someone they hadn’t expected, and probably wouldn’t have noticed before doing this work.  Some of them have decided to leave dating alone for a while so they can focus on themselves; others have discovered their buried passions and started courses or hobbies they would have continued to ignore.

In your experience, what makes a successful relationship?

I believe a successful relationship begins when each person comes to the relationship with a clear idea of what they bring to the partnership and are both equally committed to its success and longevity.  It helps if both people have as little baggage from previous relationships as possible.  I also believe wholeheartedly that as long as both people have a strong sense of commitment to their relationship, work as a team, support each other’s growth and creative pursuits, listen to each other and communicate openly and honestly their union will last.  Only the individuals involved will know if their relationship is a success, as success means something different for everyone.

When two people come together from a place of wholeness, this adds to the strength of this union.  However, many people want to be in a relationship because they believe the other person will bring them happiness, make them whole and feel good about themselves.  Starting a relationship from a place of need is a recipe for disaster.   If you’re hoping the other person will “complete” you, then this is evidence you have some more inner work to do.

 

What is the difference between and Soul mate and Twin Flame?

A soul mate is someone with whom you have a soul connection, and is not solely about a romantic coupling.  A soul mate can be your best friend, an aunt who really gets you, a sibling or your own child.  Over the years I’ve discovered my soul family, they support and challenge me and I feel a strong connection and bond to each of them.

A twin flame can best be described by the following: TWIN FLAME PERFECT LOVE

The twin flame, or perfect love, is born out of the original white-fire ovoid.  This is an ovoid of light in which you are created in the Central Sun, the highest concentration of pure Spirit in the universe. God takes the ovoid and he makes out of it two spheres of light. And each sphere looks like the causal body in the upper portion of the Chart of the Real Self. So imagine this chart twice.

Descending from these spheres into Matter, then, come forth the souls that are the counterpart of the
Spirit spheres. They are called twin flames because they came out of the original single ovoid. The electronic Presence of each soul is the exact duplicate of the other. And when they descend into form, one assumes the positive or masculine and one assumes the negative or feminine polarity. Now, each ovoid has a unique pattern. It is an electronic blueprint. Only you and your twin flame have it. You have it in the Spirit. You have the divine image in which you were made. It’s the same image. No one else in the whole cosmos can claim this oneness with you because you were only born once, spiritually.
Elizabeth Clare Prophet…….

In other words, you can have many soul mates, but there is only one twin flame!  Many people only meet their twin flame in spirit, it is rare to meet your twin flame in physical form.

 

How did you know that Alex was your twin flame?

We knew when we began sharing openly about ourselves with each other and began to realise we had connected over several lifetimes.  There was a deep knowing and recognition of the other as self. We feel connected even when separate and share an intuition about each other.  Our relationship challenges, supports, comforts and heals, not just ourselves, but also others who connect with us.

From my understanding Twin Flame relationships can be quite difficult. They can make you face your fears and shadow side but equally, if the person is ready, promote healing. What advice would you give to those in a difficult Twin Flame relationship?

Being in a twin flame relationship can be challenging, but no more or less than any other kind of relationship.  The healing that can take place is also available in other relationships, however, I believe a twin flame relationship is a divine union which offers each person a chance to heal karmic lessons and experiences as well as provide a powerful healing for the planet. I would encourage couples in a difficult twin flame relationship to explore and understand what a twin flame union is, learn some essential relationship skills, acknowledge the challenge they may be going through and look deep within to ask what lesson this challenge may provide them and seek support from someone who is trained and intuitively knows how to help them discover the gift of their union.  There are endless possibilities awaiting them, once they have the courage to connect and delve deep to uncover what lies beneath.

Tell us about the free Soul mate Discovery Session you offer and how clients can benefit.

During the free soul mate discovery session, I ask various questions to understand what the individual is looking for in a relationship.  We uncover what is holding them back from having this enriching experience of love they seek and then explore ways they can open themselves up to giving and receiving love with the person they wish to live their life with.

As long as the person is willing and open to learning a new way of dating, they can benefit tremendously from the insights they discover during our time together.  The discovery session lasts approximately 30-45 minutes, during which time they can ask questions about the process, co-create a plan of action with me and begin to attract their soul mate.  Often, people experience a powerful breakthrough in a short space of time, it can be quite emotional and healing begins to take place.

We also explore if the person would like to continue to delve into the work further and we discuss how we can make this possible as a partnership.  The work I do uncovers many fears, traumas and hidden potential, it is emotional and transformational.  After the discovery session, people tell me how much clearer they feel about who they are and what they want.

 

How can clients benefit from your Love Like No Other course?

A Love Like No Other is a 5 week course, which walks you through how to attract your spiritual life partner.  This course is not for everyone, it is really for someone who is spiritually awakening and opening up to living life from a more spiritual perspective.  Taking this course will help you to tap into your inner wisdom, trust your intuition, create a powerful attraction plan for your soul mate/twin flame and help you to understand how the universe is working for you all the time to connect you with the person who is meant to be with you.

 

What’s the most memorable experience you’ve had in your role as Relationship Healer and Educator?

The most memorable moment I can recall is one afternoon sitting in a client’s living room.  There was a lit, rose scented candle on her coffee table.  We began the session with an angel card reading and energy connection.  She then began to share how emotionally closed she felt and how she had protected herself from feeling love all her life.  As the conversation evolved, we both felt a tangible shift of energy in the room.  She began to open up more about her emotional blocks and why they existed.  As she spoke about where this came from, her eyes moistened, my eyes moistened and as she shared from her heart tears rolled down our cheeks.  At the moment when she emptied herself from this painful experience, the candle that had been flickering while she spoke, suddenly blew itself out.  The shift in energy was palpable and she said she felt something had lifted from her.

 

What advice would you give to women who keep on attracting Mr Wrong (Emotionally Unavailable Men?)

I tend not to give advice to women, as each person is individual and has experienced life from their unique perspective.  However, I encourage women to begin their journey with a willingness to open their heart to themselves.  It is important to ask questions about what is creating this experience.  For example, if someone believes all men are emotionally unavailable, this will be their experience.  They will attract situations to provide them with evidence that this is true.  However, when they begin to change this thinking and turn this belief on its head, they can begin to recognise that not all men are emotionally unavailable.   Once they start to recognise this, they then begin to notice men who are supportive, available, communicative and loving.  This revelation can be exciting, but also daunting as they may never have experience a relationship with a man who is emotionally available, so don’t know how to manage it well.  This is definitely where working with a relationship coach will help lessen the chances of self sabotage interfering with the possibility of this new relationship.

Link to recent interview with Sonia Greyson-Newman on Bright Now Radio

http://maevecrawford.com/bright-now-radio/

 

Interview with Julieanne O Connor

14/41 “Mr. Wrong with Daniella Blechner”

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to land an interview with the lovely Julieanne O Connor, fellow author and female empowerer. She too, has a book on Love and Relationships called Spelling it Out for Your Man and I feel completely aligned with her sentiment, wit and mindset regarding the male and female species when it comes to relationships. I also love her exploration into the role society plays in the creations of “fantasy” relationships as opposed to real-life nitty gritty, everyday relationships. You can buy a copy of her book here.  Spelling It Out For Your Man. Below is my interview, which felt like a very relaxed chat with a friend!  Thanks Julieanne.

Airing October 14^th through October 20^th on Transforming Relationships with host, Julieanne O’Connor, and her guest Daniella Blechner Tune-in for a relaxed and entertaining interview with Daniella Blechner, author of Mr. Wrong.

Do you ever feel as though you will never meet the right man? Are your relationships leaving you wondering what you’re doing wrong? Do you attract the same type of man, repeating the same negative patterns over and over again? If you find yourself thinking “Here we go again” or “I’ve been here before”, if you’re dating men who love you and leave you emotionally wounded and insecure, or if you’re wondering why you just can’t seem to get it right, I have news for you. You are simply dating the wrong men.

Mr. Wrong is an insightful and witty exploration into why some women continually attract the wrong men. This powerful collection of humorous, insightful, and entertaining stories are written by women from across the world that have encountered and overcome toxic Mr. Wrong relationships.

Mr. Wrong gives women the courage to turn their pain into Power and their adversities into Opportunities. It also gives space for celebrating Mr. Right by acknowledging men’s valuable relationship stories too. Do men get a bad rap? What role do women play in creating Mr. Wrong? Are we victims of our past, social conditioning or are we simply re-enacting negative belief systems? Open up and learn from Mr. Wrong and Claim Mr. Right by making a change from within.

 TUNE IN HERE FOR INSTANT LISTENING NOW

Interview on Sound Cloud or Radio Interview with Julieanne O Connor

To get your copy of Mr. Wrong visit…

 Amazon US:

Mr Wrong on Amazon US 

Amazon UK:

Mr Wrong on Amazon UK 

MORE ON JULIEANNE’S SHOW GO TO /transforming-relation

Best Books on Love, Relationships and Dating

I’ve been reading some pretty amazing books recently and if you’re like me and have been struggling with relationships or if you simply love to read up on the subject of Love, Relationships and Dating then please  check out my recommended reading list.

I am also looking for bloggers to review some of these books so please inbox me to register your interest at dingdongitsmrwrong@yahoo.co.uk if you would like to see your reviews in print and online!

http://astore.amazon.co.uk/mrwrofacfan-21

Mr.Wrong

It’s been two years in the making and I can finally say I have done it! Mr Wrong was published on Saturday 20th September weighing a mere 2Ilbs and costs £9.99. The book launch was held at Brixton Electric Social and I was overwhelmed at such a warm reception both myself, the panelists and my book Mr Wrong was given. I am still overwhelmed at the support and encouragement demonstrated not only on the day, but the two years leading up to it. I am still too overwhelmed to write about it properly so please read this lovely review from Little Miss Lola who read her harrowing but totally and utterly inspiring true life account of her traumatic experience with her Mr Wrong. To freedom, to independence and above all self-worth. xx

Cursed Out

FEATURED STORY taken from Chapter 3: Dating Disasters and Red Flags

“When people show you they are, believe them.”- Maya Angelou

How would you react to this undesirable date? Let us know in the comment box.

http://www.daniellablechner.com

notsosmitten

I don’t think I had met anyone from Yonkers before I met Tommy. He looked happy and well-balanced in his photos, with a shaved head and an earring. Tommy was a big sports fan and seemed to possess some of the traditional notions that many of my Italian-American friends did. I liked the fact that he was easy to talk to on the phone, sounded like a complete gentleman with a street-smart manner.

After a couple of phone conversations, we decided to meet for a drink. At the time, both of us were in school and I was working full-time as well, so while it is always nerve-wracking to meet someone face-to-face for the first time, it would be a fun way to break up the week.

I got to the bar first and when Tommy walked in a few minutes later, I knew it was him but my heart…

View original post 511 more words

MR WRONG OFFICAL BOOK COVER REVEALED!

It is with great excitement, I present to you the official Mr Wrong book cover. Get ready for a Sept/October launch. Please sign up to newsletter to get updates about progress of book and exciting events. Cover is designed by the amazing Sunny Tellone http://www.sunnytellone.com

Much love and gratitude towards anyone who have shown me support on this journey.

Daniella xx

 

 

Blurb

Do you ever feel as though you will never meet the right man? Are your relationships leaving you wondering what you’re doing wrong? Do you attract the same type of man, repeating the same negative patterns over and over again? If you find yourself thinking “Here we go again” or “I’ve been here before”, if you’re dating men who love you and leave you emotionally wounded and insecure, or if you’re wondering why you just can’t seem to get it right, I have news for you. You are simply dating the wrong men.

 

Mr. Wrong is an insightful and witty exploration into why some women continually attract the wrong men. This powerful collection of humorous, insightful, and entertaining stories are written by women from across the world that have encountered and overcome toxic Mr. Wrong relationships.

 

Mr. Wrong gives women the courage to turn their pain into Power and their adversities into Opportunities. It also gives space for celebrating Mr. Right by acknowledging men’s valuable relationship stories too. Do men get a bad rap? What role do women play in creating Mr. Wrong? Are we victims of our past, social conditioning or are we simply re-enacting negative belief systems? Open up and learn from Mr. Wrong and Claim Mr. Right by making a change from within.

7 Shades of Love Anthology is nearly ready to go!

With Mr Wrong complete and on the brink of being published, I have compiled a beautiful anthology of poems written by women and men across the world on the Universal subject of Love.

To help me publish please support by donating some funds in exchange for perks. Just £5 gets you a dedication and 2 poems  and £10 gets you that plus and EBook!

Please click here to  CONTRIBUTE

Short Summary

7 Shades of Love is an anthology lovingly written by women and men across the world, including UK, US, Canada, Jamaica, Kenya and Malaysia. As many of the authors in my book Mr Wrong possess a wealth of talent for poetry I could not help but have their voices heard in verse! 7 Shades of Love explores Love in colours and their associated meaning both in Eastern and Western cultures. It explores the colours and associated meaning as well as the belief system of Chakras which can reflect blockages in relationships and illuminate fulfilling and meaningful relationships. All we need in Life is Love. the only thing that’s true and real in Life is just that: Love

What We Need & What You Get

As I am publishing this anthology completely independently, I will need to raise funds to.

* register my own publishing company

* cover the cost of book cover design

* copyediting

* test copy

* printing of 100 books

* any marketing of the book

There are a number of perks, including *dedication in 7 Shades of Love, *free EBook, *free paperback books, *free framed poetry. Check out http://dingdongitsmrwrong.com/2014/04/10/framed-poetry-is-here-at-last/ to select your choice. 🙂

The Impact

To allow the voices of others experiences and lessons learned in Love heard as well as to share with others the message that Love, although hard and painful at times, is really the only thing that truly exists- it’s only true opposition? Fear itself.

Other Ways You Can Help

If you are unable to contribute, please do share this campaign via twitter, FaceBook or any other Social Media site you can!

Follow my Blog https://dingdongitsmrwrong.wordpress.com/about/ and share with others.

“Like” the Mr Wrong FaceBook page and share posts https://www.facebook.com/dingdongitsmrwrong?ref=hl

Follow me on twitter and tweet about the fund https://twitter.com/dingdongmrwrong

Peace and Love and an abundance of thanks in advance!
Daniella Blechner
author and editor

http://www.daniellablechner.com

Here is a link to the review of 7 Shades of Love review

This campaign started on May 12 and will close on June 04, 2014 (11:59pm PT).

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Contribute Now and Select a Perk

£5GBP
Flying Fiver

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 2 free poems

Estimated delivery: June 2014

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Tenacious Tenner

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 3 free poems and an EBook

Estimated delivery: July 2014

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£15GBP
Fabulous Fifteen

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 3 free poems and an EBook and 1 framed poem. See http://dingdongitsmrwrong.com/2014/04/10/framed-poetry-is-here-at-last/ to make your choice

Estimated delivery: July 2014

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£25GBP
Terrific Twenty Five

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 3 free poems and an EBook, paperback book and 1 framed poem. See: http://dingdongitsmrwrong.com/2014/04/10/framed-poetry-is-here-at-last/ to make your choice

Estimated delivery: July 2014

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Fantastic 5-0!

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 3 free poems and an EBook, 2 paperback books and 1 framed poem. See: http://dingdongitsmrwrong.com/2014/04/10/framed-poetry-is-here-at-last/ to make your choice

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£100GBP
Wondrous Onner!

A dedication in 7 Shades of Love, 3 free poems, 2 EBook, 2 paperback books and 3 framed poems. See: http://dingdongitsmrwrong.com/2014/04/10/framed-poetry-is-here-at-last/ to make your choice

CONTRIBUTE

Let Dreams Win Over Doubt and Fear

So I am close to achieving my Dream of being a published author. I have dreamt of this since I was 4years old.  The transition from ‘doing what you’ve always done’  and taking that final leap is an interesting one. Up until this point I have had absolute faith that what I am doing is right and that publishing Mr Wrong and my anthology 7 Shades of Love is the goal but the goal is so much more than that.   When it comes to our Dreams with it comes a great sacrifice (for me anyway.)  I have found I’ve had to give things up. Sometimes we have to give up our job or toxic people and relationships, sometimes we have to block out the critical chimes of ‘you can’t do it’ ‘what would so and so think’ or ‘you’re mad to quit your job.’ I have found as I’ve delved deeper into this Dream that I have invested so much time and energy into not just the writing of the book but the research, questionnaires, speaking to people across the world and making them feel comfortable enough to share their stories. On that basis alone, I am blessed! That is all without having to learn how to publish and market a book and set up a website! And to think this time two years ago when I began this process I did not even know what a blog was!   I have learnt that when we are aligned with our purpose we cannot allow any negativity in. We must surround ourselves with positive people who support and encourage you and those wish you well.

 

 

I am a very self critical person as it is. Although I was confident in myself I always hid my achievements (unless sporting!) from others and hid from recognition or praise. If this is you you must be extra careful to protect yourself from Doubt and Fear and make sure you protect yourself daily through grounding positive affirmations, meditation or simply affirming your goals and Dreams to yourself. When you are close to your Dreams there comes moments and voices of Doubt and Fear. They tell you to give up and stop deluding yourself. They tell you that you must grasp tightly all those things you depend on for security for you are nothing without them, they tell you that you are kidding yourself and that you are not good enough. The trick is to say ‘thank you for speaking to me. I’m doing it anyway!’ and become more determined. #determination #dreams When I was 16 I wrote this poem as a message in our Year 11 class leavers book. I hope this little poem helps to inspire you too in some way. ‘Look to the sky and don’t look back, Walk straight ahead and keep on track, You will succeed in all that you do, If you just believe  people have faith in You.’

I have to believe in these words more than ever now.   Thank you to everyone who has supported me thus  far for Dreams cannot be built alone.

Daniella

 

‘Dreams are nothing without conscious positive thought and action.’ Me

FRAMED POETRY IS HERE AT LAST!

Good news!! I'm finally selling my poetry online. I've started with three main titles Real Love, Strong Woman and Ms Independent

You can choose between two different styles for two of the poems. These framed poems are great to give as gifts to your loved ones or to simply keep for yourself. (I know I have!) I hope you like my words. They were all written with Love and contain messages of hope, positivity and empowerment.Edit Edit status

Happy Browsing! 🙂

Buy your poems here:

Real Love

CLICK TITLE TO READ

Strong Woman (Mother Nature)

CLICK TITLE TO READ

Strong Woman (Silhouette)

CLICK TITLE TO READ

Ms Independent (Heart in my Hands)

CLICK TITLE TO READ

Ms Independent (DIY)

 

Buy 2 for £15!!!

1.Real Love & Strong Woman (Mother Nature)

2.Real Love & Strong Woman (Silhouetted butterfly)

3.Real Love & Ms Independent (Heart in my Hands)

4.Real Love & Ms Independent (DIY)

5.Strong Woman (Mother Nature) & Strong Woman (Silhouetted butterfly)

6.Strong Woman (Mother Nature) & Ms Independent (Heart in my Hands)

7.Strong Woman (Mother Nature) & Ms Independent (DIY)

8.Strong Woman (Silhouetted butterfly) & Ms Independent (Heart in my Hands)

9.Strong Woman (Silhouetted butterfly) & Ms Independent (DIY)

10.Ms Independent (Heart in my Hands) & Ms Independent (DIY)

**********Thank you for ordering with me***

 

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Stay tuned for more products and services.

COMING SOON….

MR WRONG official book

7 Shades of Love poetry anthology

For more details email me at dingdongitsmrwrong@yahoo.co.uk

 

3 Essential Tips Before You Publish Your Book

For those of you who do not know, I have an online Periscope Show called, “Book Journey Mentor” Uncut on WOWTV (Women of Worth TV) Women of Worth TV is a highly successful channel on Periscope set up by my very first mentee, Janine Cummings who is now UK No1 Female Live Streaming and Social Media Media Strategist and Author of Everything.

Book Journey Mentor Uncut is all about providing insight tips and advice into the self-publishing and writing process as well as a platform to interview, showcase and promote new and upcoming authors. Tune in every Tues 7pm GMT/2pm EST. You can watch by following @womenofworthtv on Twitter and view via Periscope or Twitter

My 1ST Show: 3 Essential Tips Before Publishing

https://www.pscp.tv/w/1lDxLmbWZdvKm

3 Essential Tips Before Publishing

 

1. Know Your “why”

Everyone has a story inside; a unique journey and purpose. We all have our reasons for wanting to do things and a desire to fulfil goals and dreams in our lives. But what is our “why?” Simon Sinek, visionary and author of “ Start with Why ,” believes that success does not stem from what we do but why are doing it. So many of us go to work every day with no idea as to why and end up feeling unfulfilled when we know why we are doing it and are more than comfortable with the answer, we are in a much better position to connect, inspire and empower others.
What is your book’s raison d’etre?

Three important questions to consider before you read any further are.
1. What is your “why?” Why are you writing the book?
2. What is the message you want to convey?
3. What impact do you want your book to have on the reader?

These three questions are key to aligning your book, your message and your raison d’etre/purpose with your valuable readers. If you are unsure, find a trusted friend or loved one and ask them to support you in

2. Create a Clear Vision

We must remember that our book is not just a way to get our message out there but also a marketing tool. It is important to think about what we want our book to do for us. Having a book can open many doors so it is essential we know what doors we want it to open. Have a think about what organisations you may want to approach, what JVs (Joint Ventures) you may want to create, what events you wish to speak at or press you can see your book featuring in. Make sure though that these are all in alignment with your vision, mission, why and purpose. For example, I was approached by a glossy magazine having heard of my book Mr. Wrong. They wanted me to “dish the dirt” on exes and send in pixelated images of myself with them to feature in their magazine. Had they read the book, they would have realised that it was not about scandal but more so about accepting responsibility for choices we have made and forgiving ourselves in order to make better choices. Whilst this would have boosted my readership or visibility, it was more important to me to attract the right audience and opportunities that were in alignment with my core values and mission. When you are clear about your values, vision, mission, why and purpose you will attract the right opportunities for you and weed out the ones that are not. Integrity is key.

 

3. Know Your Audience

Many aspiring authors I speak to say that their audience is women. That may be true but the more specific about your audience you can be, the more likely you are to serve them well. There are 3.52billion women in the world. Is you book for ALL of them? What are their interests, employment status, background, culture, beliefs, pain points? What problems are you solving for them if any? What things make them laugh, entertain them make them think? Where do they hangout. If you want to have a successful book and ensure it reaches the right hands, research is key. Find out exactly WHO your audience is and find out where you can find them. Wherever it is, you and your book should be there too!

 

To get an interview on Book Journey Mentor Uncut, message us at info@consciousdreamspublishing.com with the subject line WOWTV together with your bio, headshot and PDF of your book.

Daniella Blechner

AKA The Book Journey Mentor

“Be the author of your own destiny.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valuing Our Needs and Desires

“What is Love?” I naïvely asked a group of pubescent teenage Year 9 boys. As I stood at the whiteboard ready to elicit ideas, I wasn’t prepared for the response that would stay with me for the rest of my life.

“Loving an imperfect person perfectly” replied 14 year old Nikesh, unfazed by the wisdom that glided so effortlessly out of his mouth. I stood still in my tracks. Yes! That is exactly what it is. It was then I realised that there are many different types of Love and that Love does not always have to be an outward projection, but something that exists within. Love is something we must exercise internally. For if we cannot Love and accept ourselves as imperfect people, with all our flaws; quirks; warts and all, how can we possibly Love and accept others unconditionally?

At this time I was a young teacher with bags under my eyes from the sleepless nights endured after being dumped unceremoniously by a man who I’d thought was my knight in shining armour. Unbeknown to me, two years later, I would find out he was engaged the entire 10 months of our relationship. His armour was his ‘costume’ and it certainly wasn’t shining! Although this was clearly laid out in front of me and I could now see the red flags, I wanted to skin teet’ and believe the sky was green when it was blatantly blue! At the time, I was riddled with regret and insecurity. I berated myself, criticised myself and believed myself to be unworthy. As I wrote Nikesh’swords on the board I realised that it was I who did not Love myself perfectly. It was I who did not realise what I truly deserved and certainly had no clue as to what I was worth.

Sometimes we become so embroiled in what is wrong with us that we forget to appreciate and cherish all that is great. We abandon our own values and value and allow ourselves to be validated by the views of others.  Loving ourselves as imperfect people and honouring who we are and what we valueis the key to creating and manifesting all that is great within us. Here are the first 2 of my 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You workshop.

 

Step 1

What Are My Values?

Everyone has values and these values vary from person to person. The word “value” derives from the Old French, feminine past participle of valoir ‘be worth’ and originates from Latin valere.  Values are the core beliefs and principles that you live by or a personal “moral code”. Just as the word value comes from the word “worth” our values should reflect what we deem to be worthy.

How many of us have focused on, or have been influenced by society’s ideals of having a “tall, dark and handsome man” time and time again only to end up with a good looking Mr Wrong? Are we focusing on just the exterior or do we have deeper values beyond that? How clear are you on your own values? It’s easy to assume that Mr Good-Looking will treat you like a Princess and be the man of your dreams, however how important is getting to know a man and examining his values and beliefs about love and relationships?

Being clear on our values will allow us to establish and identify what is important to us. This does not mean we have to have exactly the same values as our partner but it is essential that we are able to respect and accept them. Remember, just as the word ‘value’ means ‘worth,’ it’s important to find someone who sees your values and beliefs as worthy of respect. You are of value too.

 

Step 2

Own Your Needs, Wants and Desires

Needs, Wants and Desires are very essential in relationships. Everybody has Needs, Wants and Desires that they would like to have fulfilled. The question is how often do we remember them? Have they ever been written down? In some cases they haven’t even been recognised or identified until we are treated badly.  Just as we set out our values and Needs, Wants and Desires we must also ensure that we are demonstrating them in our day to day lives. We attract what we reflect.

 

What are the Differences between Needs, Wants and Desires?

 

Needs are essential prerequisites that are required to survive in a situation. They are the basics as it were, something we literally cannot do without. For example, we need air to breathe and food to sustain us, and in the context of a relationship, we all have a basic need to be loved and a basic need for respect.

 

Wants are things we would like to have but can survive without. For example, I want a car but as I live in London and am close to an abundance of transport links I do not NEED one desperately. Wants in relationships are not essential to physical survival but are essential to emotional and spiritual well-being.

 

Desires are add-ons, things we really, really want but that are not necessary for our survival or our happiness. They are luxuries, the icing on the cake that we crave and deep down dream of and yearn for. For example I desire to go to Cuba this summer, visit Brazil and camp out in the Amazon, however practicalities and real life means that I may not necessarily get to do these things just yet! Desires are something to aim for and never give up on.

 

 

Once we own and recognise our Needs, Wants and Desires we have a greater understanding of who we are and what or who we want to attract.In turn we may begin to attract the things that we need and want. These exercises are not restricted to Love and Relationships but can work in any area of your life. Now I’m just awaiting my trip to Cuba!

 

Here are the 7 Steps in full

 

What Are My Values?

Own Your Needs, Wants and Desires

Manifest Your Intentions

Exercise Forgiveness

Nightly Gratitude

Reawaken My Vision

Love. Live. Laugh

 

“You draw in maximum happiness when you are in alignment with the Greatest Version of You!”- ME!

 

For more info on the 7 Steps to Creating the Greatest Version of You Workshop or to book, visit www.daniellablechner.com or

You can also get signed copies of Mr Wrong, Mr Wrong Work Book and 7 Shades of Love at www.daniellablechner.com/books

Amazon Link http://tinyurl.com/l7b5fc7

The Power of Forgiveness

As we approach 2016, many of us will be reflecting on the year and making plans for the next. In doing so, it is important to be clear about what we want to take with us and what we must leave behind. Time is linear and so we must always ensure that we are moving forward and not holding onto old resentments from the   past. It’s time to set ourselves free!

Sometimes we experience so much pain we find it difficult to let go. We find it difficult to forgive and move on leaving us stuck in a negative cycle. However it is we who are weighed down and filled with bitterness, resentment, anger, disappointment and regret whilst whoever hurt you is walking around as light as a feather or perhaps continuing to treat others in the same hurtful way. Why are we carrying around their baggage? For hurt and pain are only inflicted as a result of other’s insecurities. Ladies why are we carrying these bags??! What’s in the past is in the past and must stay there! This is easier said than done.

Sometimes we carry this burden- and believe you me I’ve carried a heavy load for a long, long time (probably the cause of my back pain)- because we are afraid to let go. We may feel that if we let go we are allowing the other person to “get away with it” or that we have become a “walkover” somehow by forgetting about it. But in essence what we are doing is quite the opposite; we are finally moving on without the load, without the negative thoughts and feelings eroding our backs, our emotions and our Souls. We also may feel that we cannot let go as we become quite nostalgic about the past. The abuse or pain we endured becomes less “valid” if we let it go. It defines us some way and we don’t want to forget it. But in actual fact what it’s doing is making us move slower, making us weaker, bitter and lonely. Let that traumatic and painful part of your journey not define you but serve as a tool to help you grow stronger and wiser, happier and lighter. Again easier said than done.

 

Remember forgiving does not mean forgetting. It does not mean letting them back into your lives with the same circumstances or at all for that matter. It means seeing that person as a human being who’s made some terrible mistakes but helped you grow in some way whether it be emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually. For in every challenge or difficulty there is strength and wisdom to be gained. It means releasing that person and their negative energy and negative situation you endured from your own and freeing yourself. It means forgiving yourself for not feeling strong enough, wise enough to react or act differently at the time. Once forgiveness is achieved we can finally take the next step to finding true happiness. Without forgiveness we will keep attracting the same circumstances, same lessons and same type of person into our lives until forgiveness is learnt. I talk as a lady who’s carried and dropped many bags in my lifetime!

 

Here are two of my favourite quotes on forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re focusing on something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past, we make room for miracles to replace our grievances.”-Miracle Cards- Marianne Williamson

 

“Forgive and forget all that has hurt you in the past and made you doubt your “lovability.” Realise that hurt and disappointment are inevitable parts of our human learning experience. No matter how painful, the real injury was not that someone didn’t cherish you, but that you erroneously believed you didn’t deserve to be loved.”- Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose Oracle Cards- Sonia Choquette.

 

For Forgiveness exercises have a read of Mr Wrong and Mr Wrong Work Book

For more information on The Power of Forgiveness check out Daniella’s 7 Steps to creating the Greatest Version of You workshop on Sat 16th January at www.daniellablechner.com (you can buy signed copies of her books here too)

 

 

 

Extraordinary Woman- Jenice Revers

 Jenice Revers is a lively, spirited, energetic Transformational Author, Speaker, and Coach that uses her life stories as the vehicle to inspire women globally to start their journey of self-healing, self-love and reclaim their self-worth.

Her background is in working with children and families over the past two decades.  She has served as Teacher, School Counsellor, Social Worker, and Advisor to the Family Courts in her homeland, Jamaica and in England where she resides for the past nine years.  She is also the author of Immigrant Workers to the UK: A Personal Journey to Success published in November 2013.

Jenice’s word to women in her book Damn It, I’m Worthy is ‘Life is not happening to you: Life is responding to you’.   You are not a victim of your circumstances; you are creating your own destiny with the thoughts you choose to entertain in your mind, consciously or unconsciously.

Choose to enjoy beautiful thoughts and watch your life transform!!!

www.jenicerevers.com

 

So you have a book Damn It, I’m Worthy coming out in June can you tell us what inspired you to write it?

I wrote ‘Damn It, I’m Worthy’ to help women who are where I used to be; to provide a resource to support women’s transformation so they can heal themselves from past hurts, fall madly in love with themselves and re-ignite their power and greatness or take it to the next level so as to unleash the best version of themselves.
It’s a great title. What made you come up with it?

Damn It, I’m Worthy came out of a place where I decided that ‘enough is enough’ I’m worthy and I will live my life from this truth whether situations or people externally to me agree with my value.  I later came to realise that the feeling of unworthiness was very common among women especially as we are naturally nurturers so oftentimes find ourselves in situations or relationships where we are over-giving of ourselves and our kindness is often not reciprocated.

 

Why do you think so many women stay in unhappy relationships for so long?

I believe that some women stay in unhealthy relationships beyond the expiry date due to feeling a sense of unworthiness; feeling that their worth or identity is linked to being in a relationship; for those who are mothers, sometimes think that they are staying for their children to have the benefits of growing up in a family with both parents although it is sometime evident that the relationship is causing more short-term and long-term harm to their children.

 

What advice would you give to a woman who 1) keeps on attracting Mr Wrong 2) decides to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship?

I would advise women who are in unhealthy relationships or those continuing to attract ‘Mr Wrong’ to consider taking some time to themselves where they address any past hurts that are causing them to show up in relationships with men as wounded, unworthy and unlovable.  Take this time to determine what they have been tolerating in relationships; what they really want from a relationship and reflect on the things that there is to love about themselves.  I guarantee that this journey of self-discovery is empowering and will help women to have clarity as they move forward in forming new relationships or re-establishing their current relationships.  By our own example of how we treat ourselves, we teach others how to treat us so take the journey to falling madly in love with yourself and often times our partners among others will reciprocate.

I love the quote ‘Life isn’t happening to you: Life is responding to you’ how can we adjust our thought processes or mind-sets to receive the things we want?

We can adjust our thought processes or mind-sets to receive the things we want by identifying what are the thoughts or beliefs we are currently entertaining in our minds that are sabotaging our success in our relationships and other areas of life; then we go through a process of planting and cultivating new, positive, life-giving, joyful, grateful thoughts that will significantly transform our lives.

What can women expect from a coaching session with you?

I take women on a journey through my 12 weeks coaching or home study programmes where they focus on self-love, self-discovery, creating and setting up healthy boundaries, making integrity-based decisions, forgiving and self-compassion work; discover their ‘Inner Goddess’ to re-ignite their power and greatness so as to unleash the best version of themselves. Oftentimes, we are not aware of the self-sabotaging thoughts and beliefs that we are entertaining in our minds and are preventing our success in relationships and other areas of life.  Hence, we will need a coach who will expose these thoughts and beliefs that exist in our ‘blindspot’ and support us to create a new story/vision to the life we dream of.

Onto the publishing process. You published with Lisa Nichols’ company MTM Press can you tell us a little bit more about the event and mentoring scheme?

Well, I attended Lisa Nichols’ event called Speak&Write in May 2015 and it was awesome.  I learned about the importance of being vulnerable when sharing your story with others whether through writing or speaking.  Instead of ‘telling’ we were encouraged to ‘show’ people our stories so they can connect with us and experience the joy or the pain or other emotions we felt.  If you should read my book Damn It, I’m Worthy or attend one of my workshops or conferences you will have an opportunity to experience me ‘showing’ you my story.  I am currently being mentored by Lisa Nichols’ company in a 5 months business coaching programme and it’s big investment but what’s the heck, I deserve it and it is an investment in the quality of products and services I am offering to you and other women across the world.  I am also using Lisa Nichols’ company, MTM Press to publish my book which is a different service all together, where I am guided through a process of writing and launching a ‘bestseller’.

Having met you, you are full of energy and clear in terms of your vision. Where do you see yourself in five years’ time and what would you have liked to have achieved?

In 5 years, I will be well established in hosting my Damn It, I’m Worthy international women’s conferences in the UK and abroad.  I would have completed many more book publications and speaking on many different platforms so as to take women on their own journey from being stuck in past hurts to living a life where their inner goddess is being unleashed for them to achieve their greatness.

What advice would you give to anyone who wants to publish a book?

Start now to write your story, not giving any thought to grammar, structure, and context, just get it on paper.  There are editors who can provide you with different levels of support by structuring your content to make your dream of becoming an author a reality.  This service is usually at a cost but is well worth it for your story to be shared with the world in a coherent way.  You can also explore traditional publishing opportunities where the publisher will finance the publication and promotion of your book or you can take your destiny in your own hands and do what is called ‘self-publishing’ which is a very popular option.

What’s next for Jenice Revers?

What next is that I will be on a Book Launch Tour in London, Birmingham, Nottingham promoting Damn It, I’m Worthy throughout July 2015.  I’m booked for the Film, Art, Book EXPO on 4th July @ Platanos College, Clapham Road, London SW9 0AL (Stockwell area) and 18th July @ Stephen Lawrence Centre, 39 Brookmill Road, London SE8 4HU (Deptford area) where you will get your signed copy and experience readings from my book and intimate Q&A session for a total transformation.   I’m on the New York City leg of my Book Launch Tour from 1^st-18^th August 2015 in Harlem, Queen, Bronx, Brooklyn and other areas.  Lastly, but not least, I will be hosting a Damn It, I’m Worthy Women’s Conference in London on 25^th November 2015 (venue to be confirmed).

Thank you!

Contact Jenice: info@jenicerevers.com or jenicerevers@yahoo.com

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